Am I really lucky with interviews?

I have seen people complaining about the lack of job availability in Bhutan, but what we are not aware of is going prepared for the interviews.

I think the case is not really with the shortage of jobs. It’s just that people are not competent enough. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Competition is expected. I can’t expect myself to be the only person in the interview because the guy-next-to-me needs the job as much as I do.

The only thing to crack interviews is to keep yourself updated on the current affairs, general knowledge and almost everything that ever happened. It’s also important that you keep revising your subjects. In nutshell never stop studying!

My first interview in Bhutan was after diploma. I was interviewed for BNBL and I got the post. After I resigned and went to pursue degree, I had no reason to undergo any interviews for the next 3 years.

So my second interview was after completion of my degree three years later, was for BoB (Bank of Bhutan), just before the RCSC exams.
I got selected in the top 5 among the 52 candidates that sat for written test. After VIVA though I couldn’t make it I got the second place and unfortunately they had only one vacancy. Anyways all’s well that ends well.

My third interview was RCSC but the result took too long in coming that I felt so restless and I had to do something. So my fourth interview was once again for BNBL. Despite many people’s protest that I cannot apply there again, I went ahead with my instinct which said otherwise. I got short listed in the top 7 among the hundreds those who applied there. After VIVA, I got selected for the only post of system administrator.

Just then, BBS interview was announced on the evening news. I went for the written test only to experience something different from the IT interviews. So instead of archieve officer (which required IT knowledge), I appeared for the post of producer. To my utter disappointment the post was for radio and not for TV as I have hoped.

Well BBS informed us that the written test result is going to take sometime in coming. But of course for me, there was no hurry at all. I just used the whole procedure as guinea pig.

Then on 24th December RCSC result was declared there and I got through. Although only 6 vacancies were announced for 122 IT–3 years Technical graduates, I still could get the third best option since I secured the 3rd position.

Just after RCSC results BBS interview results were announced and I got short listed for the post of producer, current affairs (English). I was quite surprised because I never thought I could do any interview apart from the IT interviews.
That was the only 5 interviews I ever attended in my life till now and I am glad that I could do well in all those interviews. Well I think it’s time I stop underestimating my abilities and start believing in myself that I am no less than others.

Ranked 3rd in Technical Category (IT-3 yrs) – RCSC

Some say that college is good and some say this is good but I personally felt no threat from any college be it Sherubtse or VIT because we are all university graduates and we all have the same potential in us.

It’s not the college or lecturers that determine our knowledge or capability. It’s basically ourselves that matters. If you are not hardworking or if you have no faith in yourself no amount of lecturing could do you any good.

I was shocked when I ranked 3rd among the technical graduates in IT-3 years among 122 graduates but I guess my hard work is finally being paid of and rewarded for.

But it’s sad that we receive no recognition from anybody. For people it’s as if only the general graduates have done RCSC and not the technical ones. It’s not like we can’t sit for general category but that’s not appropriate for us. Is it a case of ‘majority wins’? With more grads appearing for the general category it’s always been them who received people’s appreciation but I am happy that we don’t need to undergo one more year in RIM pursuing Diploma.

Which is best: BNBL or RCSC?

Sometimes having options is not totally cool because it creates confusion in us. At this point I am totally confused whether to opt for BNBL or go for government job.

Some say BNBL pays more and there are loan advantages and that I should go for BNBL. On the other hand, there’s RCSC and job security and my folks wants me to opt for government job.

I wish I knew what’s best for me so I could get in with clear conscience but nobody can predict the future and I am left in dilemma whether to remain with BNBL or to join the civil service.

I personally was never in favor of the government jobs but with 2 more banks coming up in Bhutan I can’t even say if I have a future in BNBL and also I am not so familiar with the BNBL service rules so I can’t be sure when I might get fired.

I guess it all boils down to making the right choice in life and I am not even sure which is the right job for me. Since the RCSC results my mind was never settled and people make me more confused.

What should I do? Which job is better for me? I wish somebody could list all the pros and cons of my options so that I could opt for the best one.

Who’s Gonna Be Next: DPT (itself) or PDP?

There are people who are not at all into politics but I guess I am not one of them. As of now, no I don’t want to get into politics because I don’t have the experience or people’s support but I have dreamed of being a MP one day 8 – 10 years down the line.

For now I don’t care much about who’s ruling and who’s opposition in the parliament but there are people who says the DPT government will not get his/her vote the next election. Maybe for him the DPT government isn’t living up to the expectations of the people. And yet there’s another group of people who says the DPT government hasn’t got the luck because of the earthquake and the floods we experienced in the past year. Now the question is can we really blame the government for natural calamities and disasters? I guess the Buddhism in us is to be blamed. Maybe we are being hysterical because natural calamity is because of scientific reasons and not because of the ruling government.

Whatever the reason maybe the next election in 2013 is going to be tough one since the ruling party is losing the trust of the people. I have heard of many people who wants vote in favor of the opposition party the next election. Some people say our opposition leader resembles the US President, Barack Obama and they think just like Obama we can expect young and dynamic leadership from the OL Tshering Tobgay.

I believe only time can tell whether it’s going to be the opposition party or the DPT government itself which would be winning the next election. And whoever is ruling next time I hope there will be some women ministers because I need the encouragement if I am going to be contesting one day from Paro.

The DPT government is doing all it can and we find many times the ruling and the opposition party agreeing except for few cases like CDG (Constitution Development Grant), which is being opposed by the OL and the government still went ahead despite the protest from NC and opposition.

CDG is not supposed to be spend on recurring expenses but some MPs spent on boating facilities in the south (newspapers reported) and other stuffs. The opposition’s reason must be because if the government impress people with the CDG then there’s chances that they win the next election as well but I personally don’t take to CDG because it might function in the first few years then it could go to the MPs’ pocket.

And yet CDG has one advantage: it means equal development of all dzongkhags. As of now the development work is only being carried out in the east because government considers that part as under-developed. Dzongkhags like Paro has nothing being done. Is it bad that people there are already doing well? There’s nothing in the 10th FYP for Paro and being a parop I am really worried.

Well back to the topic. Who’s going to rule next? Is it going to be the DPT (itself) or PDP? Whom would you vote for?

Stalkers behind me…

At 9 pm I was still in the office (correction, my brother’s office), browsing and chatting. It was really late and I knew I had to leave but my legs won’t oblige. Finally with a heavy heart I rose to leave all the temptations behind me.

I knew I should have left by 8 instead of being an hour late. As I climbed down the endless spiral staircase my heart started hammering against my chest. There were few youngsters smoking on the corridor but I tried not to show my fear, walking as fast as my legs could manage.
When I reached the ground floor those youngsters started descending the stairs too. Fear gripped my heart. I looked around but the street was completely deserted except for few stray dogs loitering.

I started increasing my pace my walking faster but I didn’t want those kids to think I was afraid and they were fast catching up on me. I couldn’t think of running with those high hills on and if I didn’t I was in danger. What was I to do? There was not a soul in sight and I knew I was in trouble but I couldn’t give up then. I had to do everything I could to rescue myself from the gangsters.

I was almost running now but those punks were not so far behind me. In fact the distance became even lesser between us. I knew I needed help but I didn’t even know if 911 worked in Bhutan as well. I have always had that fantasy of being kidnapped by a gangster and falling in love but reality seemed much harder than that. Maybe Korean movies have inculcated that fantasy in me but then I realized I no longer wanted to be kidnapped by any gangsters, not even by a millionaire for that matter.

I had to keep my sanity if I had to fight those punks so I pretended not to be scared but I was shaking. Those punks seemed drunk and were arguing on something I couldn’t comprehend then. Finally the clock tower came in sight and I was relieved to find few people there. The youngsters behind me started walking leisurely maybe they didn’t want trouble too but I could sense them behind me still.

When I reached near those people I literally ran. I couldn’t dare look behind me for the fear that they might run too but I just ran and ran until I reached the footsteps of my house. There I kept buzzing the doorbell until it was opened by my brother. As soon as the door opened I jumped inside and banged the door behind me and latched it. It was only then I could release my pent up breath. I was so relieved to be in the confine of my house and for the first time in my life I thanked god for having a premises of my own.

I was so grateful to those people at the clock tower. It was only because of those people I didn’t become one of the rape victims today. Sometimes even strangers can touch your life unknowingly….

Soul Mate: is it just a myth?

I was never a believer of the concept of soul mate; of destiny and fate until I watched this movie “Serendipity” where the protagonists play with destiny and they come to believe in it when they eventually meet again by fate.

I now believe there’s going to be a soul mate for each and every one of us in this world irrespective of the circumstances and the location. It’s just a matter of time. He/she may not be the best looking or most qualified guy/gal but that person is going to be the right one for you. Don’t expect that person to pop out at the earliest instead wait for destiny to take its toll.

You need not be impatient and take destiny into your own hands because the pattern has been pre-designed by god so just let it happen to you in your own time. The wait maybe longer than you expected sometimes but the reward would be worth it. God has created a soul mate for all of us and when destiny brings him/her to you, you will just know that person is your Mr/Ms Right.
This is where commitment comes into the picture. When you meet the right person you will want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. You would no longer fear commitment and the responsibilities and obligations that come along.

People sometimes confuse coincidence with destiny but meeting people when you have no common business is not accidental, neither coincidence but that’s called ‘fate’. There are incidents where “a beauty married a beast” and we tend to think that girl has no eye for looks but that’s not entirely true. We are only living a pattern that has been designed already by the almighty and not under our control.

Single Woman

Why is it so difficult to accept single woman in our society? A single woman stands threat to many people: wives are afraid that she might take away their husbands; mothers are scared their son would be lured by her, parents fear there might not be anyone to look after her after they are gone

Does anyone even bother to know her own choice? Why do people want to make the matter worse by asking her if she is married at every turn? Whether a woman marries or not is her own choice and not anybody’s business. Why is our society so conservative that it’s so hard to see a single woman?

Not every woman wants to breed babies and respect husbands as god. That was all in the past. Today many women prefer career over marriage. All we need to do is to change our attitude and keep our minds open over things like marriage, divorce and live-in relationship. To me a live-in relationship sounds better than marriage: that way if you can’t tolerate your partner you can always make a clean break.

The most difficult question ever asked to me was, “Are you married? If not, why not?”
How am I ever supposed to answer that question? If I said “I am not interested”, they say, “Those who say that will marry first”.
If I said, “I am not ready yet” and they say, “How long are you going to wait? Till you are 80”
And if I answered, “I didn’t meet the right guy yet”, they say I haven’t been looking in the right place.

What bothers me most is why are people so eager to see me married off. It’s my life and I will live the way I want to. Whether I am married or divorced or if I changed husbands more than my clothes, is nobody’s concern. I just wish people wouldn’t poke their nose in my territory.

Why do people need to scrutinize spinsters so much? Just because a woman is unmarried doesn’t make her gay or less woman. Maybe she’s never met the right guy or maybe she’s genuinely not into marriage. Whatever the reason maybe it’s necessary that people tolerate her and learn to respect her wishes. Nobody can force or pressurize her to marry just because they are intimidated by single women in the society.

When it comes to marriage not even the parents has the right to push her. So let’s us learn to accept people the way they are and not based on the marital status because commitment is not the sole factor that determines a person’s efficiency and ability.

History repeats again

Anita was on the phone again (did I tell you who she was? Well she used to be the maid at my uncle’s place). Who could have been on the other side, I wondered. This conversation went on for eternity and daily routine for her until I intervened one day.

I snatched the phone from her and asked who the person was on the other side.
“Mr. abc. And you?” judging by the voice I suspected him to be in his thirties.. uhh late thirties I should say.
“Well I am xyz” I answered coolly.
That was the beginning of the start. Now he totally lost interest in the other two girls and always asked for me. He was interested to know everything about me and I told him every possible lies. I told him I was a mother of five with salt-pepper hair and a home-maker but he wasn’t convinced. Our conversation became more and more interesting with each passing day.

I knew him to be older than me but I was surprised to have found out that he was some seventeen years my senior.
We were always on the phone talking and knowing each other though we haven’t met in real life. Then one day I was told that he was coming to Thimphu. I was excited at the same time worried. Anxiety was everything I felt in the next few days and eventually the fateful day arrived.

It was after 5 pm but still my uncle and aunt did not return home from work which gave me ample time to compose myself and rest my thumping heart against my chest, for the anticipation that wields against my stomach. It was then he called me outside to meet him for the very first time. Something held me back. I realized then that I was not ready for the encounter. I wanted to run, scream and wished the world collapsed and swallowed me alive. He called again and I was informed that he was just outside the house and waiting.

I sent Anita as my disguise. She went only to return shortly. I knew she wasn’t successful in her mission. Well the guy knew it was the wrong person. She described the guy as old, fat, bulky, broad etc. I was on the verse of changing my mind when I was called again. When I could come with no more excuses I went outside at once.

No sooner did I appear at the gate when I felt full force of a car’s headlight on my face. After adjusting my eyes to the darkness, a darker shade of green Maruti Van came towards me. It stopped a little distance away from me and the person inside beckoned me to him. I went hesitantly and stopped right in front of him, dump-founded.

Well to describe him, he was fair with charcoal black hair. He was wearing dark sunglasses (which I found awkward because it was dark then), so I did not notice his eyes’ color. Since he was seated I could not see his height too but Anita was right when she said he was huge and bulky.

Well the very first thing he did was shook my hand and did not let go off it easily. I had to finally pull away my hand. I became pretty skeptical about his behavior from the start.
“Pleased to meet you”, I was informed but I was worried if my uncle and aunty found me together with this weird man.

But he wasn’t done with me. We spent sometime talking before I could be excused. That was the beginning of a long relationship of betrayal, lies and excuses: a relationship based purely on lies….

Bhutanese film fraternity

Why is our Bhutanese movie industry not doing well in the country? Is it because there’s no audience in here? And why are we not taking interest in the Bhutanese movies? If the audience doesn’t like our movies then there’s something wrong with our movies.

I personally don’t take to the Bhutanese movies. I believe our Bhutanese actors are not natural. They are faking everything from dialogue to acting. And we lack the required technology. The story line is always monotonous sad love story with happy endings.

Though we have moved from the B&W Gasa Lamai Singye, there’s still room for improvement. Maybe the producers and directors should be less biased and work with professional actors than those of relatives and mistresses.

And why does our Bhutanese movie have songs and dances in it just like the Hindi movies? It’s not likely that people dance in reality every often. We see couples dancing when they are sad or happy, which of course is not the case in the real life.

Bhutanese movies are never made into DVDs and CDs. The producers just screen the movies in the Theatres on important occasions and stops there. The same movie comes next year on the same occasions like Thimphu Tsechu, Dromchoe etc. Are those people waiting for the audience they missed last year?

If only we have Bhutanese Film industry and professional actors, things could be different. We need actors who are involved solely in acting and not government or corporate employees who takes up acting as a part-time job.

Once upon a time in Kolkatta

Once in kolkatta, some four years ago I remember falling in love with my instructor. Now when I think about it I feel disgusted with myself. For god’s sake the guy wasn’t even cute. Am I always so naïve to fall for every ‘Tom, Dick and Harry’?

I remember the instructor as being fair but prematurely bald right in the middle of his head. For the whole month’s stay I was love-sick there. Food had no taste and I was walking the streets of Kolkatta without any purpose. He was everywhere in my thoughts and I had tough time keeping my emotion under control.

The guy must have sensed something because once he said to me, “hoping to see you in Bhutan in March”. After returning to Bhutan I tried calling him but he messaged me saying he was out of station and will call me back which he never did and I am glad for that.

Afterwards I couldn’t meet him in Bhutan too and that was the end of one of my many unrequited love stories. I kept thinking of him for months after that but then that phase of my life is over and I am glad to be in one piece unharmed still.

My childhood friend

When I was little, I had different friends then. not the friends I have today but those from my locality.

One such friend was TC. We grew up in the same neighborhood and we were best of friends. Though she was a year junior to me, she got admitted in school a year before because of right hand refused to touch my left ear (it was a measure to admit kids to school those days), and I was stupid not to have known to try any trick.

Later I could catch up with her since I was better in studies than her but we always remained the best of friends throughout our childhood. Those days I used to be pretty good in studies so gradually left her behind and finally the day came when I had to go different school since ours had only up to the sixth standard. And as always, distance took away our closeness.

I had new friends by then and so did she. We hardly met since I was in boarding school and our meeting was frequented only to my monthly outings. Moreover those outings were only for a day which was mostly spent with family.

Years later, I found myself in RIM when she fell very ill. We were both grown up by then. The memory of our last meeting is still fresh in my mind. It was during one of my visits home when I spotted her outside her house taking in the winter sun. I went up to her and we talked for a couple of hours.

She looked so thin and pale. There was not an ounce of flesh on her entire body. My heart went out to her. I know I can’t blame her folks because they did everything in their power to get her treated which included taking her abroad for treatment. But I believe god had his own way of dealing with lives.

Well we talked about everything and nothing. I wished to stay longer but I had to report to RIM so I left her with her thoughts and came. Few hours later, my sister called me up and informed me that TC was no more.
It was like a blow to my face. Even to these days, I always think god wanted me to meet her one last time before he was done with her. It was as if she was waiting for me.

With my two friends I offered some butter lamps in Semtokha dzong for her but I couldn’t attend her funeral the next day. Somehow cremation ground always seemed so creepy for me but for the life of me, I’d always regret not being there for her funeral to bid her one final good bye. I doubt if I’d ever be able to forgive myself for that mistake.

Maybe she didn’t forgive me too because I always dream of her almost every night. In my dreams, I’d see few friends and later one face would always change to hers. And in dreams, I wouldn’t know she isn’t alive anymore.
Morning I’d wake up, remember the dream of the previous night and feel void and numb but not scared.

Seducing Mr. Perfect

My love life’s been a flip-flop: falling in love and falling out of love. It was like a bumpy roller-coaster ride.

I used to fall in love with every man I ever laid eyes on only to find the guy repulsive after few days. Maybe it’s an understatement to call is ‘love’. Because ‘true love’ last longer than days or maybe the whole thing is just hoax. After all these days, love is money and success. People always fall in love with other people with money, status and successful career. Even looks does not count much except that if it’s there it’s an added bonus.

Well anyways before I divert from the main stream let me get to the point. After few failed relationship I have decided that I am not made for love and vice-versa, at least not the romantic love. Now I am almost convinced that my life is going to be one very long, lonely, cold and alone. And at 80 I might regret not having children to take care of my funeral. But then I’d rather prefer this to a miserable life with a lousy husband or a trouble-maker boy friend.

Just when I had almost made up my mind, then something happened that has a potential to change my mind. Well I was online the other day when I met this amazing guy. He’s totally cool and too wise for his age. At 23 the guy talks like he had decades of experience. I hate to admit the guy is too young for me but I can’t help feeling like Kate Winslet in movie The Reader, romancing a youngster.

The guy is everything most guys were not: charming, witty, intelligent, cute and good looking. With him I can be myself, instead of pretending to be someone I was not. I feel very comfortable and at ease with him. I enjoy his company so much that I always feel time just fly by that leaves me wishing for more.

He’s one guy with both his head and heart intact. He’s smart, fun to be with and totally charming. He can be one hell of a flirt when he wants to and yet he’s so modest at times. He accepts me for who I am and he’s punctual, honest and giving and expects nothing in return. It’s in his nature to be honest with what he has to say and never fails to compliment the other person. Also his collection of vocabulary is amazing.

He is like drug. It’s hard not to get addicted to him. Although we haven’t seen each other in reality, somehow I feel very comfortable with him. We have so many things in common so we never run out of topics to discuss. The subject ranges from personal interest, hobbies to books to movies and everything under the sky.

At first I was bit ill at ease. I thought the guy must be making fun of me with his bunch of friends but now I am pretty convinced that he takes me seriously. He thinks I am one sensible, intelligent and lovely lady and I am totally flattered. Coming from him, it means more than anything in the world.

Well I have no idea how long we’d be together or whether we’d even meet in reality but I am just grateful to the almighty that he let him in my life and I am going to treasure him for a long time to come. Whatever happens in the future, I know I have these wonderful memories to cherish and cling on to.

Empowering women in Bhutan

The equality of sexes and discrimination of women are most talked about subjects with the institutions of NGOs like the CEDAW, NCWC and RENEW etc here in Bhutan.

I personally have never experienced discrimination, be it at home or in the society. My parents though illiterates have never objected to me doing anything. I have taken all my decisions ever since I could recall and my folks were completely agreeable with it. Like me there are so many others who are fortunate to have very liberal parents and less cynical neighborhood.

But this is not the case for every woman in the Bhutanese society. We read cases of battery, violence and discrimination against women in the everyday paper. There are less fortunate women who falls prey to the ruthless husbands. Newspapers report of such cases but there are many more unreported for the fear of publicity and disgrace.

For such women the NGOs like NCWC and RENEW are very helpful. They help those women in need and help her establish a life for herself. The question is how many women would seek help? Most uneducated women are not willing to part with her husband despite violence because they think the children will suffer. After all, a child without father is not treated right in our society.

Well who’s behind this discrimination against women? Most men today are educated and hence consider the women are their equal. But there are those men with ancient thinking that they consider themselves superior to their female counterpart. And the women, at least some women are equally to be blamed. I have seen some women who think they are inferior. Those women are always willing to let the men lead them and they follow. Maybe it’s the women themselves who causes discrimination against them in the first place. In order to be treated equal it’s important to act equal.

But then discrimination is almost non-existent in Bhutan. We are fortunate to be born here. Today most discrimination against women occurs in the extremist countries with Islamic religion. We can only sympathize with those women clad in bhurkha from head to toe.

“The days when women’s sole aim in life is to secure a husband are long gone” (Penny Jordan). It’s time we stand up for ourselves and speak up to be heard.

My pathetic life

I have reached the silver-jubilee of my life and yet when I look about myself there’s nothing significant about it. I am still unemployed, still dependent on my folks and siblings.

The other day I was just mentally asking myself what I have achieved in my life till now and I couldn’t come up with anything. The greatest possessions of mine are few certificates, my laptop and my hard disk bought at the expense of my parents. Except for few drapes of clothes, I have absolutely nothing and my zero bank balance does nothing to improve my condition.

I am very ashamed of my pathetic life. Except for little household chores, I do nothing at all to help those I am dependent on and yet I act so proud of myself sometimes, which of course is wrong in my opinion. For god’s sake, I should be earning and standing on my feet instead of depending on my parents for my livelihood.

Though my folks never complained once, I remember my mom sometimes saying, “Look Payday, that girl is your age and now she’s a mother of three”.
Not that I judge a person by the number of off-springs she can reproduce but of course my mom must have meant it in a different context. To her maybe, maturity is measured in terms of children but sadly I’d have to disagree with her on this matter. I’d never be envious of a woman with children.

Neither does marriage attracts me. I have this crazy notion that a woman can never achieve her dreams if she married and started family. Maybe that’s not necessarily true but I guess I am some sort of psycho commitment phobia person. Like every normal person I have a dream too. I dream of being an independent, successful and somebody in my life. But that dream might remain a dream only if I stayed idle at home everyday like I am doing now.

I am always this jumble of nerves whenever I attend any interviews because now I am desperate to do something. Maybe it’s high time I do something if only to kill time and prevent myself doing anything wild. Sometimes I fear I might turn into some rustic dork because of long hours of staying alone at home, with no social life at all.

Next time I find any job I just am going to get in with closed eyes. I am really feed up of waiting for the RCSC result also. I guess ‘beggars can’t be choosers”. I am definitely going to grab anything that comes my way. I can’t afford to let go of anything; not now, not ever.

Drayang/Bar Dancer Girls

The Bhutanese outlook on the bar/drayang girls is that of prostitutes. Of course the Bhutanese society has always been full of gossips. Why can’t we just let people do what they wish to do? Is it a sin to work and earn your bread?

Maybe it’s time people understand that not everyone can be doctors and engineers in life. We need diversity in the profession. We need some to be doctors because we have patience. Likewise we need entertainers in the bars because we have customers. What’s so wrong with girls dancing in the bar as long as she’s doing something to survive?

People don’t complain when their children do nothing at home but lashes out on a poor girl who dances in the bar because she has no other alternatives. Are we such a snob that we look down upon those who struggle in life? A work is a work, be it politician or whore or driver.

There was news on BBS of the drayang girls which virtually labeled them as the whores. It said how the drayang girls where educated on HIV-AIDS, because these girls are bound to service the customers. Well there might be some girls like that for financial gain but I think that’s the case of one rotten apple spoiling the whole basket.

It’s not only the bar girls but also RAPA dancers which comes under the public scrutiny and the public eyes them with such disdain. Maybe it’s time we change our attitude against those dancers and respect them for their afford to keep themselves alive. Let’s appreciate them for their courage to pursue such career despite public disagreement.

Weird Family Next Door

At home next to my house lives a strange family. They used to be such a big family that anybody new in the village would never be able to understand their relationship to each other. I had difficulty myself till I was in my late teen.

Well at first I thought theirs was a cozy family but years down the line the family turned creepy. Gradually everyone started dying. The wife is a drunkard. There are two children in the family. Though the husband is a very hard working man his saving is not enough for the family’s survival.

The eldest of the two children is the son. He limps terribly and the daughter (Sonam) though quite dark is fortunate to have all senses intact. There are six siblings of the wife. Her folks died long before I could remember. Well one day, the wife in her drunken state fell from the stairs and she was paralyzed below her waist. Now there was no hope of her ever walking for the rest of her life.

All she could do was to peep out of the window and talk to the pedestrian passing by near her house. Then one day the wife fell seriously ill and had to be taken to hospital. The husband had to nurse his wife in the hospital, left his two children at the mercy of his wife’s sister (children’s aunt). The aunt in-turn had to go away on business to earn her bread left the children with her husband and daughter.

The aunt’s husband (let’s call him uncle), took advantage of the situation. He now started molesting Sonam every night and threatened to kill her father if she uttered a word of it to any soul. Poor girl, she became victim to minor rape but there was nothing she could do except to bear with it.

Then after a couple of months in the hospital the mother succumbed to death. There was no money in the family because the father was nursing the mother. The father had to take loan and neighbor’s help for the funeral. Then every sibling started dying. It was as if the mother has opened on door to the death for them. Since the mother’s death, all of her six siblings died except for one, her elder sister.

The wife’s elder sister, who was then married to the husband’s father who in-turn died, married the widowed husband and started living with the husband and his two children. It was actually time for mourning but the husband could not find time since he owed so much money to the banks and neighbors. Hence life had to go now and he worked hard but that was never sufficient for the entire combined family.

The new wife came with her spoiled brat of a daughter and never treats the husband’s children well. Then the husband knew about the rape of his daughter and had the uncle arrested. Now they had to take in the uncle’s daughter too since the aunty also died after the mother. Now there was one more mouth to feed and it also meant more sweating for the husband.

And life goes on and on. Fortunately there are been no death since. I believe the devil meant to spare the last sibling. Adding fuel to the fire, the traumatized daughter couldn’t qualify for the eleventh standard in the government school so the father had to take more loans and raise pigs to pay the daughter’s very high school fees.

Why I love reading

It was in the year 2000 when Sonam Kinga (deputy chairman, NC) and his colleague visited our school during the ‘reading week’. He was so fluent in English and it was wondrous to listen to him speaking. Since he was so good I never thought he’d be good with Dzongkha. But when he actually spoke in Dzongkha he was fluent there too.

Gosh! The guy was admirable. Then he shared his little secret with us. He said he has read more than 300 novels. I was inspired by him. I had never read anything before so in my 9th standard I started with my first books, ‘Nancy Drew’ and ‘Hardy Boys’ but I am not ashamed in admitting it. You always have to start somewhere right? Though I started late, I felt it was better late than never.

Since then I have read more than 300 novels too ( don’t get me wrong there I keep count of every book I read in my diary), though I couldn’t be like Sonam Kinga, I’m glad he has introduced me to the world of information. Books are truly a man’s best friend and windows to the world.

Vegetating Graduates

Is it because of the unemployment problem in the country that so many graduates: be it degree or class 12 or 10 are vegetating at home? Every year thousands are graduating and only the cream gets employed and rest just frustrates.

Maybe it’s time you ask yourself what’s lacking in you that when others can get, why not you? Maybe there’s something wrong with you. Maybe your grades are not as good as the next guy or maybe you don’t have the interview skills. Whatever the problem is, it’s high time you pause and assess yourself.

The Genpact lady was right. I think it’s important you check your resume (CV) every often and see if it’s changing. Otherwise it means you have been idle for sometime.

It’s amazing that graduates can just stay home and be a burden to their parents. What’s the need for one to graduate if only to stay home and do nothing? It’s no use taking your frustrations on your parents. It’s not their fault that you didn’t get employed.

One can only wonder how those grads can live with guilty conscience and shame staying idle when your employed friend could have earned thousands in that time you were vegetating.
Maybe it’s something to do with our Bhutanese attitude. Our attitude was never right for a start. We Bhutanese always seek working in a cozy office even when your grades aren’t so well.

Life, even in a country as small as ours have become, “survival of the fittest”. The competition is always stiff. You can’t simply expect to apply for any post all by yourself because for one vacancy there will be hundreds applying so better be prepared for the battle. It’s always the best man that wins.

Yet there are people with good grades but fail at the interview. In such cases you need to sharpen your interview skills. It’s not wrong to browse the net or ask your friends about the interview process. You can practice in front of a mirror or even ask your friend to assess you.

Is our ego so big that we can’t stoop to Blue Collar jobs? You only get what you deserve. Maybe it’s time you know your worth instead of letting your ego come between you and work.

Thank god! It was just a nightmare..

I had a very vague recollection of being in the queue, lined up for something like a meal. My stomach was making sounds and I was wondering when my turn would come for the queue was very long.

Well one moment I was there and the next I was being snatched away. I failed to see the face of my captor because he was behind me. Large hands gripped my under-arms and I was taken away, as one of the chosen ones.
There were around few girls whose faces were vaguely familiar because they were there among the crowd, in the queue too. I didn’t know why we were kidnapped and brought here.

The place looked like a hotel lobby and people there were very casual with us, as if kidnapping girls is their everyday job and not crime. Finally the shrewd looking lady appeared. Something tells me that she’s the mastermind behind all these. It finally dawned on me the purpose of us being there. The lady was so cruel when one of the girls complained. She was so casual when she said what we are to be doing to her customers.

At first she didn’t notice me sulking in the dark corner but then she came to me and asked what my problem was. That was when opportunity presented itself to me. I faked sickness, fortunately for me I found a wound on my tongue then. I explained why I won’t be able to do what she wants me to do with my mouth to her customers.

Just then a stout, fair and ugly man appeared on the doorway. After scanning the girls, he said to the lady that he wants the girl in a red jacket. My first instinct was to check my jacket which to my relief was not red. After the man was gone, the lady again turned her attention to me and said I could go and rest and come back later. I thought she said I was free. In my mind, I thought I could go from there and bring authorities with me and rescue the other girls as well, though I didn’t dare voice out my thoughts, but the lady only meant I could rest in the premises of her hotel where her people could keep an eye on me if I was up to anything mischievous.

Just then, a cheerful girl came in. in her hands she had a rubber glove the doctors use for operation. I believe she’s the only girl who came to the hotel willingly. With her glove, she said, she intends to use on her mouth when she performs task for the lady.

I felt trapped then. I thought there was no end to this. The lady lured us to believe that it was only for one time but somehow I had the feeling that the lady meant to keep us there permanently. Just then I was lead upstairs to rest. Within a short span of hours, I planned so many escape plans but it was out of question with so many employees and male customers around.

Upstairs there were so many cubicles each with a cozy bed and outrageous photographs of models hung at the post of the beds. It gave me Goosebumps thinking I’d be occupying one of the cubicles soon and entertaining the lady’s customers.

The lady ushered me into room in which there were several gamblers but nobody too any notice of me when I passed them. For them a scared and pathetic looking girl is an everyday event. The lady shoved me on the bed next to the gamblers and told me to take rest before she comes back to fetch me. But sleep was out of question since I had to plan an escape first. Through half-opened eyes I noticed the lady exited the room leaving me to the mercy of the drunken gamblers. When she was gone, I cried my eyes out hoping some of the gamblers may help me but they didn’t even take any notice of me. As far as they were concerned, I did not exist.

I looked about my surrounding but no escape was deemed possible. The hotel was huge and breaking out of it seemed near impossible task. If I ever attempted I’d be caught by the hotel employees or the customers, loyal to the wicked lady. I felt truly trapped but I was still contemplating an escape before the filthy men could lay a finger on me. I was in agony but nobody even bothered to ask me what happened. These men out there were all animals and I promised to myself that if ever I got out alive, I’d take each and every one of them down. I’d inform the authorities about the kind of business being operated in that hotel and ruin the evil lady.

Suddenly I felt very breathless and woke up with a start. I found myself sitting straight in my bed. Thank god! It was just a nightmare. Even if it was just a dream, the experience felt so real. It’s still fresh and vivid memory in my mind.

Now I can understand how some women end up in flesh trade business (whore), by circumstances and I can feel their agony. I just wish I could do something for women forced into this business….

An Interview Experience

It’s true the “Tell me about yourself” is a million dollar question. The question is meant to set the stage for the interview process. It’s from this question the interviewers get an idea about you and would set the stage on fire.

I made the mistake the first time. It was in Bangalore and I went to give an interview for a BPO job with IBM. The first question asked was “tell me about yourself” and I have a good reason to believe that I bored the interviewer with all the schools and institutions I attended and my academic performances. I should have known better than that but that was a hard learned lesson. Since then I promised myself to do better than that in future.

So before the RCSC VIVA I prepared for the said question and went. There everybody said that same thing. It’s important how you introduce yourself. The questions are all based on what you said in your introduction, said everyone who’s already given the interview.

Finally it was my turn to go in. I was bit nervous at first but the interviewers were all very friendly. They said to treat them as family members, which of course wasn’t possible but still it was kind of them to be so considerate I believe.

Well the first question I was asked upon being seated was of course, ‘introduce yourself in 1 minute’ and I began as follows:

My name is ______ and I am from ______. When I was a little girl I thought I’d grow up to be a teacher not because I was interested in teaching but because teaching was the only profession I was aware of then.

Well as I grew up, I used to read lots of books and novels so I was like ‘that’s it. I want to become a reporter, a journalist.

But when I didn’t qualify for Sherubtse College after the completion of my 12th standard way back in 2003, I had to opt for what seemed like a second best for me then, a diploma (DIMS), in RIM, Semtokha.

That was the first time I was introduced to the real IT world. Though I had taken computers as a subject in my 9th and 10th standard, the real interest came to me only during my diploma days.
I was intrigued by VB, web designing, CCNA (computer networking) etc. the technology was simply too much for me to resist and I loved my subject.

By then reading and writing was pushed to the back of my mind. It became something like a hobby or passion for me.

Well after the completion of my 2 years diploma I worked for 3 months in BNB but I wasn’t satisfied. I felt the need to upgrade my knowledge and fortunately for me I got a scholarship too so I went down to Bangalore to pursue BCA. It was a 3 years’ course and I completed last June. Since then I was preparing for RCSC and here I am.
I don’t know how good it sounded to the interviewers but that was the best I could do since I didn’t have much achievement to boost my ego. Well that really set the stage on fire because the questions following that were as follows:

1) Well you said you wanted to be a journalist. Who inspired you?
2) You said you read many novels. What types of books are you into? Do you read M&B, thriller, romance etc?
3) Name some books of Dan Brown
4) Since you have had Diploma and the subjects you learn in Diploma and degree are similar, did you find BCA easy? How did your diploma help you?
5) You said you worked in BNB and liked it there. Why did you leave it?
6) When you were working in BNB, how were you treated by the other employees? Did you have any difficulties interacting with people from the management background?

Etc etc and etc. I could answer some and couldn’t answer some. That was a very good experience and though I wish I could do better but I am glad that I did my best.

So it’s my advice to all the people out there, if you happen to attend any interview, just take few minutes and a give mental preparation as to how you want to go about answering the very first question. Make sure you don’t bore the interviewers with every little cheesy detail. Also don’t keep it just to your name, place and qualification because it’s important that you include your hobbies and interest but be brief.

Too good to be true

Last time I have read of reports in kuensel where some women where four Bhutanese women were cheated of so much of money on the promise of getting work and visas in the UK. In our everyday life we get spam mails promising millions of dollars, conning the innocent people. Most people fell prey to such junk mails.

It happened to me too. Few years ago when I wasn’t aware of this things happening, I got a mail saying my email address was chosen by the committee and that I won 2 million USD, which of course sounds too good to be true. I was so excited so I called my sister immediately to share the good news but I was rubbished by my sister saying that it’s just a spam.

It was an embarrassing thing and I was glad I didn’t share it with anyone except my sister. I was supposed to send them my address and bank account number so that they can transfer the huge amount to my account. That wasn’t all because these people asked me to send few hundred dollars which according to them should cover the expenses involved in the transfer.

How are they going to benefit from this? They ask me few hundred dollars at first for the charges. If I had been stupid enough to have sent the amount, they would ask me again and again and which eventually would become a good amount. Thank god I did not have a fat purse.

Although I was new to this thank god I didn’t act reckless because you never know what would have happened to me otherwise.
In our everyday lives many people fall victims to the spam mail but they should have known that this thing is ‘too good to be true’.

Uncertain future

RCSC exams are over and at the briefing they announced the availability of six slots for some 150 plus people in my category. At first I couldn’t believe my ears, I thought I heard it wrong but friends affirmed it.

I still tend to believe it was some sort of nightmare. Last year they had 30 slots and this time only 6. Having not done the written exams particularly well I can’t help worrying. Why does it have to happen to me only? Why this time, why not the previous years? So many questions pop up in my head but I have no answers.

Even with the exams over there’s no rest to the mind. Tensions pile and there’s no certainty whatsoever of the future. Where would I be one month from now or two months? What am I suppose to be doing?

There are around one thousand graduates appearing for RCSC exams out of which some 200 will be placed with RCSC. Where will the rest of the grads go? There’s hardly any vacancies in the corporate and private sector.
Seniors and civil servants say RCSC has adopted some policy of “zero growth” which means they would not be recruiting any more people into the civil service only inter-ministerial or inter-departmental transfer is there. But where will the grads of this year and next year and the next next year go?

What’s the zero growth? Is it some kind of dirty joke? Maybe the government should tell the students to stop studying or stop pursuing further studies. Well if there’s no job in the market then why waste time and money to get educated?

On the road to recovery – II

Finding a baby sitter is no easy task. Not because they aren’t available but I wanted the best for my children. A babysitter is someone who will be spending a long time with my kids so I was particularly careful and choosy.

I have contacted the agency many times and they promised to send me one by the end of the week. Well they did at last but what they didn’t tell me was my babysitter is a man in his thirties when I had hoped for some elderly lady.
I argued with the agency that they would send me someone good but they insisted he’s the best they have. What I didn’t know was “Tenzin” is a man’s name in some faraway country called Bhutan. I should have sensed it but I didn’t doubt for a moment that my babysitter could be a man because I had this notion that babysitting is women’s job.

Nevertheless he’s really good with the children and that served my purpose but the man is really getting on my nerves these days by being really sweet to me. A flirty man is the last thing on my mind now. After an awful divorce I even loath to look at any man let alone get involved.
He really is an impossible person. I have reminded him many times that his work is to only look after the children and not do everything in the house but in vain. Apart from his name I know nothing about him and yet the man seems trustworthy and I feel comfortable to let the kids alone with him all day. In the evening when I home after a long tiring day at work, there would be some coffee and snacks waiting for me. He would always keep the house very clean and help the kids with their home work, takes them to park or walk sometimes. In nutshell, my babysitter has become a ‘jack of all trades’ in my house.

The kids really like him and we are all very comfortable in each other’s company. Somehow he’s become a father figure to the children. To a stranger or an observer, we might look like a happy family but I have come to sense the danger in the whole thing. Sometimes I would raise my head at the dinning table to find him watching me. There are times when I have seen the desire in his eyes. The last thing I need now is a gorgeous man. I resent the fact that the kids are really attracted to him. They will suffer when he leaves us in a couple of months.

I started avoiding him these days because I have no time for trouble in my life, at least not now. So I started coming very late from work (after he left for his place), but it so happened that he was waiting for me one night. I faked headache and was going directly to bed but I was stopped. He called me coward for not being able to confront my feelings. He confessed that he’s been in love with me ever since he first laid his eyes on me. I wanted so much to reciprocate his feelings but I couldn’t. Not after how I was hurt the first time and not after Adam but he insisted that not all men are Adam and that he’s different.

He also said he wished to marry me and adopt my kids. I wanted to say yes but something held me back. I think it’s something to do with bad experience. After that night I feel myself so attracted to him. I knew I loved him too but I wasn’t going to tell him that. Maybe it’s not love. Maybe it’s just some temporary attraction which will go away soon and then what? I can’t do this to the kids and I can’t do it to myself, not again and not after what happened with Adam.

These days I am torn between my head and heart, each has different ideas. My heart says to love him in return because he’s worth it but my head tells me to be a sensible girl and not get hurt again. What am I suppose to do? Whom should I listen to – head or heart?

My impossible brother

My brother is a person with devil-may-care attitude. Nothing bothers him at all. He wakes up early in the morning (only on weekdays), takes hours to gel and style his punk style hair and with enough money he leaves for school.

Every evening he comes back with his arms stocked with snacks (mostly wai wai and lays). As soon as he reached he sheds his gho on the bed and waits for me to serve him his supper. After a hearty meal and a glass of juice, he reach out for the TV remote and starts watching TV till late evening. At night he helps me sometimes with kitchen work after insistent shouting and scolding from my side. After dinner he muddles with his books (sometimes) and then retires for bed, wakes up next morning to repeat the same procedure and his routine.

When I urge him to study, he says class eleven is heaven and it’s time for him to enjoy and take rest. When I ask him to help me with household chores, he insist that there’s no work in Thimphu unlike at home (in Paro).
Further he reasons that people are not getting work in Thimphu because there’s no work. He mistakes the unemployment problem with the household work. If I advise him to study he has no ears to listen and when I study he disturbs and distracts me so much which eventually leads to fights between us.

On the whole, my kid brother is cute though impossible!!

Climate Change: what’s your contribution?

Have you ever given a thought to climate change once in a while? Are you even aware of what climate change is? Or are you among the ones who think it’s not your responsibility?

Climate change, like it or not, is happening and it’s happening because of our carelessness, because of our reckless actions. We are the ones who started it and we should be the ones to stop it too.

The world at large is doing many things to stop the climate change from happening. There are talks of developed countries reducing the carbon dioxide emission by introducing electric cars. In fact, people predict that by 2020, almost all cars would be running on electricity and not on fuel.
Recently there was a conference on climate change in Maldives held under water with all people plugged into oxygen mask. There was no talk but action. That was an initiative taken by their government to create awareness of the climate change. Maldives being an island is very vulnerable country when it comes to climate change. They say, all of Maldives will go under water and will be wiped out if the level of the Indian Ocean rises two more meters. This is what I heard from people and I don’t know how authentic it is.

Well similarly, there are so many awareness campaigns and TV programs being carried out to educate people on the negative impact of the climate change. There was one program on NDTV I happened to have come across. The program is called ‘Himalayan Green Adventure’ and you will see many cyclists racing the Himalayas for nine long days. Cycle because cycle uses no fuel and hence emission free. It was a great program and I have noticed many Indian celebrities are taking active part in it. The theme of the program is called ‘Green Matters’.

The sea level is rising and the glaciers melting, crops drying all because of climate change. The rain water is no longer best for the crops because it contains impurities and chemical. Everyday tons and tons of solid waste are produced. Vehicles and industries are emitting poisonous gases and tons of industrial waste all contribute to the drastic change in the climate. I believe there’s a reason to fear climate change and every one of us, individually or collectively must do our own share.

Bhutan is not really affected by climate change as of now but it’s just a matter of time. Since there’s no sea in or around Bhutan, we have no reason to fear the rising sea level but we have our own share of Tsunami up there in the mountains. Reports say that glaciers are melting in the Himalayas at much quicker pace than they are supposed to and there’s a risk of flood in Bhutan if it does happen. Already so many people are deployed for the operation Thorthormi in the Lunana area. The giant lake threatens to burst and wash us all away and so the RGOB is taking precaution before anything dreadful happens.

We have witnessed so many irregularities in the climate already. No longer do we enjoy snowfalls in winter. Most winters are deprived of snow, and in March when we least expect, it snows. Crop yields are much low compared to the past and hence the government is encouraging organic farming.

The pace at which climate is changing is alarming. People better take this seriously instead of taking it as something which is in paper only. Let us be responsible and take it personally because when it happens it’s going to happen to you, me and every body.

I in my own little way is doing something because this mother earth is much mine as she’s yours. I always make it a point to switch off light when not required. I close the taps after using. I also make best use of papers. I do my rough work on the used papers and collect it so that I can sell if there’s any buyer here in Bhutan. During my college days, I sold about twenty kilos of used books and papers to the vendors who took those to recycle. Here, I collect beers bottles and sell it to the old man who comes by to purchase. I also collect polythene bags instead of disposing it because people say these bags takes ages to degrade if they do at all.

So I am doing my bit. Are you?

On the Road to Recovery

I had hoped to start anew in New York by leaving behind San Francisco and Adam but it’s not happening so. Perhaps there’s nothing as forgetting the past and living the present because the good old memories refuses to leave me.

It’s been two months since I moved to NY with my two children, Brian and Elizabeth, leaving behind San Francisco and Adam and the memories. I thought I had made the right decision moving here not having to bump into Adam and Rachel (Adam’s new wife), every other day but now I realize it’s better than not to be seeing him at all because the kids and I, miss him terribly.

A decade ago, when we took the oath of ‘till death do us part’ I thought it was meant forever. Who would have thought my marriage was for a period of a decade only? Not the crowd gathered there in the town hall then, to witness the sacred ceremony, and definitely not the old priest that married us. Never had I in my wildest nightmare have seen this coming. Nevertheless, I am adjusting to the new life in which there’s no Adam in it. It’s hard on me and the children but there’s no other options open for us at this juncture of our lives.

The children at first were reluctant to part with their dad but a presence of a step-mother was not exactly a welcome sight for them. They preferred a new place, home and their mom to their dad with the step mom and hence agreed to move with me to NY City. The divorce is really taking its toll on the children and I wish I could have done something to save my marriage at least for the sake of the children but the damage has been done already and there’s a little that can be done to undo it.

Adam has always been a wonderful dad and he loves the kids dearly but maybe the love wasn’t enough to stay bound to me forever or maybe Rachel was too irresistible and his love for her exceed what he felt for the kids. Whatever the reason was, in the end, we couldn’t hold on to our marriage. My marriage failed in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to save it. Horrible truths kept unfolding and with a couple of weeks the entire court procedure for the divorce was over. I was just a dummy there sitting beside my lawyer like a well behaved kid with a strict mother, while Adam had Rachel to support him, I had no one.

We didn’t want to do this to the kids but our marriage was a failure and we saw no point in staying together when we had so many indifferences. The children didn’t take it well at first. They had tough time getting used to the idea that their dad and mom aren’t going to be together anymore but somehow they are better now.

I can only blame myself for causing unhappiness to my children. If I couldn’t save my marriage, I had no right to marry in the first place. Although it was Adam who cheated on my first and then divorced me, I can’t blame him also. Maybe I have grown too unattractive for the years or maybe I wasn’t the same woman he married a decade ago; I must have changed for worse and that ‘new me’ may not have appealed to him. I have no right to blame anyone because my marriage didn’t work out, it’s my responsibility and I should have saved it when I had time though now is too late for regrets.

Having lived all my life in San Francisco, I still feel alien in this city. I simply can’t get used to the idea that this is going to home from now onwards but I can’t be selfish and think about myself only because the children are taking it harder than me and I have the job of convincing them that life’s going to be good here and I have to make it up to them.

Fortunately for me, I found a secretarial job with a big private law firm. My new boss considers himself lucky to have found me because I suited his purpose just fine with my children and my marital status. It seemed he was looking for an elderly married woman who doesn’t distract him and also be the object of his wife’s jealousy. He adores his wife and doesn’t want to risk his marriage because of some slutty do-nothing secretary in his office. So career wise I feel I am quite established here. My boss and I share a very professional relationship and it suits both our purposes well.

The kids have joined their new school and they say the school here is much better than the one at home in San Francisco and I am glad to say that they have made few new friends as well. There’s only one problem now. Since my work requires me to work for long hours (I don’t mind the hours since pay is good), the children at left at home all by themselves, so I am thinking maybe I should hire a babysitter….

To be continued..

Search for the lost guy

It was in my seventh standard when I developed this big crush on this guy. Time passed by and a decade later he still holds a little place in a corner of my heart. I never thought I was capable of such an intense emotion as love. Maybe it’s an exaggeration to call it ‘love’ but it’s definitely something lesser than that.

Well when I had time and opportunity I couldn’t confess my undying love and now it’s too late. People say the world is not too big a place and we are bound to meet one day or other and yet we never meet the people we want to meet most. I have been wanting to meet this guy for a long time but in vain. It’s as if he no longer exists on this earth because nobody even knows where he is at all. I have been searching for him on social sites like FB and hi5 too but to no avail. The guy must be a freak not to be using any networking site when the whole world is into socializing online; an advantage the present generation has over our ancestors.

If only I could meet him just once, I’d want to confront my feelings; see if it stands time tested or whether I have been using him as bait to ‘barricade my heart against hurt’. I have seen my share of guys; handsome, ugly, smart, intelligent, boring but I couldn’t find “him” in others. There’s no guy like the lost guy, I don’t know why but he is simply not like them. He’s different, unique and not them.

Or maybe he’s no different from others. Maybe he must have appealed to my adolescent eyes. Maybe…he’s blah blah blah. Well that’s more the reason why I need to see him again, at least once to see if he’s the same guy or whether my heart still beats from him but he’s no where to be found….

I nearly ‘got’ it

Yesterday was the BoB personal interview (VIVA) for the post of network administrator. There were five of us competing for the post, four boys and I. well the interview was at the hotel Kisa (opposite city bus parking), at 2 pm.

The interview was tough for me but I admit I enjoyed the whole process. It was just talking, something I was good in but I couldn’t really answer all questions so I wasn’t really surprised when I was informed that I didn’t get it.

I didn’t read on the BoB website that the announcement is going to be on October 22 and simply called them but I think I did the right thing. If I hadn’t called, I wouldn’t have known I didn’t get it and wasted two more days worrying of the result and thereby not preparing for RCSC.

In the following you will read the mail my sister received from her friend who works for BoB. I said “nearly” because I’d have got it if the first guy wasn’t there..haha..it’s funny isn’t it?

hey... ur sis came second in the personal interview... but since BOB had only one slot for the position.... we have to take only the first candidate...

However, I have no regrets because it was worth experiencing. I had fun with the interview and I am willing to attend next 20 interviews if only to gain some experience before RCSC exams.

I have a friend who attended 14 interviews only to do his MBA. Comparing to him my one interview is nothing. In fact I think I need to attend some more interviews to gain interview skills but my main concern is now RCSC exams. That one is a life-deciding exam and really a matter of life and death.

Maybe it was never meant for me to work in BoB. Well, whatever happens happens for good. I need to keep up my spirit and cheer up.

p.s. 'nearly got' is not as good as 'got' i know. it was meant to sound funny.

Perfect – my favorite novel

My favorite book is Judith McNaught’s “Perfect”. The hero is the hunk of a man: tall, dark, handsome, rich and successful. The heroine is an average looking middle class girl and a teacher. Their paths crossed, when the hero, accused of the murder of his wife escapes and take the heroine hostage. Following the kidnap, is a beautiful love story where two individuals from two different worlds meet for the first time. They are complete opposite. He is a very handsome, rich and successful Hollywood director and actor. She’s a middle class girl who was brought up in orphanage until she was adopted by some decent family when she was 13. He led a very glamorous Hollywood life, whereas she grew up in the streets of some small town.

But when they meet their chemistry flared. Judith McNaught did it again, the mastermind behind the intense love story. Every love word weighs 100 kilos. It’s a sweet, beautiful and heart warming love story. If you read it, you’d wish if it could happen to you.

Well I specially like the book because unlike other romance where the heroine is some six feet, gorgeous, independent, successful, here we have an average girl just like us. I am so fed up of reading love stories about those stunning girls. It’s as if love happens only to those drop-dead gorgeous girls and so it discourages us to fantasies about love. For a change, it’s good to read a love story about some middle class girl too. It gives hope – a ray of hope to us too...

I was one of the “chosen” ones

It has never crossed my mind to search for any job before appearing for CSCE exams so when the bank of Bhutan (BoB) vacancies appeared in the papers I never thought to apply until my friend persuaded me to try so we applied for the post of network administrator (technical).

Well we were surprised to find all 52 people short listed for the written test. I was not so happy to find all of 50 plus people just for one slot but I just went to try my luck with the written test yesterday afternoon in Motithang School. The test was really tough and I thought I didn’t do well so I didn’t really expect anything.

But I was shocked to find myself short listed among the top five candidates for the personal interview (VIVA) scheduled on Monday 19, October. Trust me my hopes end here. I believe the other three candidates are all boys and if the gender bias exist here as they say then there’s really no hopes for me because I was the only girl among the short listed candidates. Sources tell me that those boys all did 4 years course against my pathetic 3. It really scares me to compete with three brilliant guys but I am happy that I made to the top five and I don’t really mind even if I couldn’t make it.

It was a very nice experience and I am glad that I took the opportunity to do it. The rest in the hands of the almighty god and let him decide who’s best for the job. “May The Best Man Win”.

Recollection of the past

I think it’s being ungrateful to my college friends and lecturers not to dedicate one article to them because they played an integral part of my life in Bangalore. I won’t be here today, had it not been for them. I owe them a lot and I’d always carry this gratitude with me in my heart for those people in Bangalore for making my life wonderful and worthwhile for three years. Life wouldn’t have been so good without them.

Well I can still recollect how lonely I had been in the hostel in the beginning when I knew no one out there. It was a hostile life then because I hardly knew anyone and had no friends. Every Bhutanese student had their own friends and their rooms were already packed and as a result I had to stay with the Sri Lankan girls. Though they were really nice people I had tough time adjusting with them in the beginning. When they were conversing in singala I felt as if they were gossiping about me.

However, Pema’s fight with Tashi proved a ‘blessing in disguise’ for me because it begot me a friend. Though Pema has then become a friend, I still wished for a constant friend who could be with me all the time. Those days I didn’t have a permanent friend so I wished for friends like that of my diploma days but things improved gradually. Since I had only a month to study for the first semester I didn’t get much time to miss home also because I had to study a lot to catch up with others. First semester was really tough for me; I had to work hard and sacrifice many things and also I got sick during exam time.

Things looked much better by the second semester. Though I was still staying with the Sri Lankan girls, by then I was acquainted with more people and was comfortable with the surrounding. Academic wise too I was more adjusted and comfortable with the subjects. By third semester I had moved in with the Bhutanese girls but things were the same.

The real enjoyment and life started only in the fourth semester. By then we (Pema and I) moved out of the hostel and stayed in a rented apartment. The apartment was a small cozy one and just suited our needs. On top of that, we had a good old friend as a neighbor (Mithun). We became real friends with the Indians than we ever were with the Bhutanese. Somehow, it was really comfortable with the Indians and all of our friends were Indians.

Though I had 15 years of academic education before I started with college education, I credit my real education to my college days. It was in Bangalore that I learned to be sociable and deal with different people. It was there that I got opportunity to meet people from different culture and language background. We had people from many countries in our college and I felt privileged to have known all those people. They were varieties of people with talents, knowledge and innovative ideas. They were all so friendly and eager to be there for me and I have no word to express how honored I was to have made their acquaintance.

I take this opportunity to thank all my lecturers in IADC without whose help I won’t be here today as a full-fledged university graduate. I thank my friends; Indians, Sri Lankans, Nepali, Bhutanese alike without whose friendship and guidance I wouldn’t have made it till here today.

Give me a Break..

Today i attended the job fair organized by the MoLHR.It wasn't a big success for me for the fact that i didn't get any job because there wasn't any on-spot recruitment promised by them.

also i got the opportunity to see the great Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche at the memorial chorten after much pushing and dragging by the crowd accumulated there but i am glad having got the opportunity.

Now. trust me, i seriously need a break from blogging because it's high time I start studying something for the upcoming RCSC exams and interviews. I am really not confident of anything but I'd want to give it a try without any promises. In the meantime you readers must excuse me for a couple of weeks. I hope you guys will miss me while i am away.

When you are bored, please go through my older posts. That way you won't miss me hehe.. well I am off for now but i hope I will have so many good stuffs to post.
Until we meet again.
with Love
Payday (tpG)

Friends, a basic necessity

“Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”

I take this opportunity to thank those wonderful people I met in Bangalore without whom my life would have sucked a big time.


Pema

Pema was the only real Bhutanese friend I had in Bangalore and we still are best friends. She’s always so agreeable and willing to whatever I decide. For me she was a friend as well as a little sister.
During three years of our stay we never fought because we had no reason to. It was always her who would listen to whatever I had to say, agree on whatever I decide. My life wouldn’t have been so wonderful had it not been for her.
Well do you remember how we used to always have ‘kewa’? Poor potatoes! We have exhausted you so much. Remember how we used to have only curry of kewa with not even datsi? Remember the times when we were ‘michael’ over Druknet chat?
Thank you, Pema, for being there for me always. I hope we will remain good friends forever.

p.s. Michael means crazy. something i learned in B'Lore


Mithun

One of the reasons why I have become so bossy around people was because I had friends like Mithun who would always agree with me. One would never be able to comprehend why how you tolerated all my tantrums and annoyance. It was you who listened to me sulking and helped and guided me with almost everything. Trust me; I wouldn’t have done anything without your help. I know we fought many times because you can be interfering sometimes and me not understanding and quite selfish. I can still remember how successful we are as partners. Remember the ‘Blu-ray’ presentation we did together and how we won the first place and how we won the treasure hunt with the help of our good old friend Tim.
I just hope you have forgiven me for saying all those hurting words those days. You are one great friend and I hope we remain friends even if we are physically miles away from each other.


Timothy

I wish I had known you from the first semester rather than the third but I am glad that I made your acquaintance. Sometimes you might have gotten quite annoyed by people teasing us together but I hope you haven’t taken it to heart because I didn’t.
Well I must admit I have learned so many things from you. For instance, I learned to be bold and courageous, to love, to be sociable and to be cool and calm and not to panic during exam time and there are many more. I can never thank you enough for being my teacher during exam time and for always lending your ears to my never ending troubles. Thank you so much for being there for me. I hope we remain in touch and friends for all times to come.

Lobzang

Lobzang, sometimes I take you for granted because you were there with me during diploma days and then degree. Although I feel sometimes quite formal with you I can remember you always helping me with one thing or the other.
I can still remember how you helped me during the diploma days with my VB programs and designing. Your help extended to my Bangalore days, when you had to design my presentations and my project as well. I owe you two certificates (I got from presentations) and my project marks (238/300). Trust me, I wouldn’t have done it without you friend. I am very indebted to you and I hope we remain friends till infinity times.


Sendil,Standley,Kiran, Manish, Meet, Bebothi,James

Thank you guys, for being my friend. You guys rock. Halleluiah to you guys..

Embarrassing moment: one of the hundreds..

Well I remember writing an article about being on the live telecast of BBS on the ‘international democracy’ day. Well I also remember mentioning why I had to ask a question just to please my mom.

Well I remember asking some stupid question. I think it’s better to write the question here so that the readers can judge for themselves how stupid it really was. My question was the following (in Dzongkha of course):

“As of now we have only two MPs from the opposition party in the parliament (NA) which is not really effective to the best functioning of the government.
Is there any chance that the ruling party and the opposition can be 50 – 50?”

Well my question must have sounded so stupid to all the viewers that night because it was dismissed by the host of the night (Dawa) as something obvious and needed no answer. The only person who was happy with my question was Gasa MP Damcho, who happened to be from the opposition party.

It was so embarrassing that I wished the earth could open up that very moment and swallowed my alive. I regretted asking that question before the last word was out of my mouth. But the past is past; I thought nobody would remember it and 70% of Bhutanese people may not have switched on their TV so I was relieved that many would not have seen it. But that wasn’t all; since that night, they have shown the programme twice and each time I was reminded of my silly question.

I just wish I had hold on my tongue that night. I wish I knew why they have to show that programme so frequently. I wish I could erase that question from my past because it still haunts me. Relatives, friends, enemies, acquaintances alike, must have seen me on BBS and said I was not even able to ask a question properly. When I think of it, I have a tough time restraining myself from doing something stupid.

I just wish they won’t show it again so that people won’t talk bad about me. I wish I could present myself better when I had the opportunity. It’s simply too embarrassing even to recall that incident…he he.. Please don’t laugh at me.

WISH: if only 'wishes' were horses...

I wish I were as beautiful as Angelina Jolie

I wish I had money like Bill Gates

I wish I was working in the branded software companies like IBM, InfoSys etc

I wish a was an actor like Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks,Hritek Roshan, Amir khan

I wish I was an actress like Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Kareena Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra.

I wish I were journalist for BBC, CNN and NDTV

I wish I were successful like Oprah Winfrey

I wish I had eyes like Katie Holmes, lips like Angelina Jolie, body like Jessica Beil, skin like Paris Hilton

I wish I had guts like Rakhi Sawant

I wish I were the owners of cloth brands like Addidas, Pepe jeans, Levi’s

I wish I was Barack Obama, the president of USA

I wish I was married to Abhay Doel

Forgetting the ‘invisible man’

The gentle breeze was soft on my face
Blowing my hair gently, tickling my skin
Whispered something in my ears
That was audible to me only
And that put a broad grin on my face; smiled to myself

Pedestrians were busily walking
Oblivious to the others walking by
Lost in their own little world
The sky suddenly grew dark
The rain threatens to give way

As I walked and walked
The torrential rain poured down on me
Wetting me to the skin
There under the shelter of a tree
Was a man with both his hands on his head
Trying to ward off the heavy rain
Dead to the rest of the world

As I stared into his face
I was reminded of the invisible man
The man I had fallen in love with
The man who have given me many sleepless nights
The man who has left me at last
And deprived me of my only heart

Why did he have to come back now?
Now when I was about to forget him
Now when I was beginning to see other men as men only
Now when I was about my find my lost heart
Now when I nearly regained my sanity

But it was impossible not to steal a look
At those green eyes that haunted me for months
It was too tempting not to stay put
Too irresistible not to let him notice me
But was it worth it? at the cost of what?

Slowly did he open his eyes as I moved to go
Gave me the look that bored holes into me
It was too hard not to held on his gaze
But he dimmed with each passing second
And disappeared with a streak ray of light
Where was the invisible man?

Was he really here a moment ago?
Or have I just imagined him?
Was some one playing a dirty trick on me?
Was it god’s way of punishing me?
Oh almighty god! Why did you take away my invisible man?

My heart was broken into thousand pieces all over again
But I vowed to love him with every broken piece
The wait for the invisible man is going to be long
But I am willing to wait for eternity
Wait for the next seven generation
Only to have him back even for split of a second

Multi-Tasking

Being a technical (IT) student I have copied the system’s (computer) way of doing many things at a time, a term commonly called the “multi-tasking”. I have become so impatient and so restless so I tend to do many things in one go. It’s as if somebody is hurrying me and I always remain so anxious all the time.

For instance, I read, brush my teeth and do toilet as well in the morning. I even finished few novels and magazines in bathroom only. There’s always one book that’s kept in the bathroom. While cooking I always listen to music (either radio or songs from my cell). When I brush the carpet in the sitting room, I watch news channels.

Likewise there are so many instances when I do multi-tasking. I have no time to stand and stare. Although there’s nothing I do that’s significant but I believe in keeping my self busy whatsoever. I like things to be in their respective places and my life to be very organized though it’s tough job organizing anything. By ‘organized’ I don’t mean to say financially stable because I am not that since I have no work as of now but I mean to achieve in that area too in the near future.

My kid brother calls me Akshay Kumar these days because he says my behavior resembles Akki’s character in the ‘Singh is King’. I am always running around the house these days toppling this and breaking that. The interviews and exams ahead are taking toll on me because I have become so restless and unsettled. I just hope I’d be able to keep my sanity till things settle down a bit.

Multi-tasking isn’t a bad thing but it divides my attention and as a result I end up doing things half-good. It’s all because of my urge to do all things at once. There are simply so many things to do that it scares the hell out of me even to imagine. The road ahead is going to be tough one I just hope I can do well not to disappoint all those people who have high hopes in me.

Funny incident: it happened to me again..

Last time, my brother and I were watching some historical programme on BBS where one man was explaining to other, who appeared to me as a reporter, about the kings of Bhutan. Well my brother said, “aani mi dib en za zaw chi yoe mey” (meaning: this man is quite something).
Well I just looked at the old man explaining and remarked, “Well, what’s the big deal about him”.
“He’s Dasho Karma Ura tey”, said he.
“Dasho what?” oh my god! Then only it registered to me. No wonder he said so many things about the kings of Bhutan. But how could I have not recognized him is something I failed to comprehend. He came thrice to the orientation (NGOP-2009). I even asked him a question. How stupid of me? That shows how much I learned from orientation. Dasho Karma Ura came thrice but I didn’t even see his face though heard him.
Well I certainly hope I heard whatever he has said.

Vegetarian in the true sense of word…?

I have been a vegetarian ever since I could recall. There were several incidents that lead to me being a vegetarian today. When I was a little girl, my ex-brother-in-law went fishing and caught a bowl full of fishes. I had so many fishes that night to last me a lifetime. That was the last I saw of any fishes. I had never touch a fish since then and today I have forgotten the taste of fish so it was all as good as never had fish in my life because the childhood memories of fish was so vague that I can’t recall the taste.

There was another incident where I became repellent to chicken. That incident too happened during my childhood. Those days we had so many hens (red hens which lays huge red eggs), and so eggs used to be in abundance at home. Well one day, my eldest sister and her friend, while working near the poultry happened to have provoked the hen-eating creature (called ‘zemo’ in Dzongkha. I am not sure what’s it called in English) which used to reside in our ‘oka’ (cow shed). That creature had formed grudge against my sister and her friend and as a result killed all of our hens. That night was a chicken party. That time too I had too much chicken that I didn’t want to have another in my lifetime. Well those were the reasons I stopped having fish and chicken in my life. Never had I tasted fish or chicken again till now. Although the taste of the said meat is all gone from my mouth, even to these days I dare not touch those.

Well even as I child I was always partial to all kinds of meat. The only meat I tasted was pork and beef. I haven’t tasted mutton or any sea meat neither do I desire too. Even then, I wasn’t so fond of pork and beef. This was a reason which eventually resulted in me becoming a vegetarian. Though I used to take only the above said meat, it was only in my tenth standard that I stopped taking meat completely. I have been vegetarian since then. When I first started out, I was a pure vegetarian but today I am not what they called ‘pure’ because I started having noodles with chicken soups a couple of years ago.

Another reason why I am not a pure vegetarian is because I started having eggs few months ago. The reason I started having eggs is very ridiculous. Well it was in Bangalore and I used to read and collect articles from ‘Times of India’. It so happened that, one day I came across an article where a man has lost some 30 kilos having diet of eggs only. That was when I was tempted to try eggs and lose weight too but I didn’t do it right. That man from the article had boiled eggs but I had fried eggs with dripping oil which eventually lead me to gain weight instead of losing it.

Today I feel that I am not a ‘vegetarian in the true sense of the word’ because I started having eggs and chicken soup. There’s also an incident where I had taken beef for just one night. Well that too happened in Bangalore. My friend and a room mate had so much beef, which she felt lazy to cook and was lying as waste so I was tempted to try it out. I must say that was a horrible experience. The beef tasted terrible and I regretted the moment I had it. I still feel guilty of having had that beef though I stopped again that very moment.

There’s no reason as to why I became vegetarian except because I didn’t like meat much. Some people think I must be really religious minded not to be taking it but that’s not the reason. I never stopped meat because I pity the animals and want to spare them because it’s not in my nature to be too sentimental and pious. There’s not many reason but today if you tell me to take meat, I can’t, however tempting it might be because now I feel guilty even of thinking about meat. It has become something not edible to me. Well there are times when meat becomes so tempting and irresistible but still I couldn’t take it because of the guilty conscience.

Today I feel very bad of not being a ‘pure’ vegetarian. In times to come, I will gradually try and stop taking eggs and chicken soup and become a vegetarian in the true sense as before. Meat I believe is never meant to be my diet and it’s disgusting to take it.

So friends let’s sympathize with the animals, pity and spare them and let us all ‘GO GREEN’!!!!!

My stagnant life...!!!!

My life’s like a stagnant water. It hardly moves, but wavers a little. I am still where I was last year and the year before that. I wish things were different; I wish times were different. I just wish I was different. I am so fed up of the same old boring life. Doing same thing everyday is quite tiring. Life’s been so predictable for me. There were no surprises, no miracles, and no gifts whatsoever.

Nonetheless it’s a pleasant life but I just wish there were more excitement than it has now. I don’t mean to sound greedy, asking for more than I deserve but sometimes it’s dry to have no excitement and challenges in life. I don’t expect my life to change over-night or in a fortnight’s time but few positives changes are welcome. I just wish gods in heaven are kinder to me than they were and change the whole essence of my life.

There are so many things I haven’t experienced in life. For instance, I have never boarded a plane (though my sister insisted I once come by flight during college, I refused), never had champagne, never celebrated my birthday with a birthday-cake, never learned to drive a car and the list is endless. There are so many things I want to do in life, so many subjects I want to excel in, so many areas I want to explore but all these are beyond me if my life is what I have now.

I just wish I knew, what initiatives that needs to be taken to experience change in one’s life drastically. I wish I knew how to prioritize things in life so it may not look so complicated.