I have seen people complaining about the lack of job availability in Bhutan, but what we are not aware of is going prepared for the interviews.
I think the case is not really with the shortage of jobs. It’s just that people are not competent enough. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Competition is expected. I can’t expect myself to be the only person in the interview because the guy-next-to-me needs the job as much as I do.
The only thing to crack interviews is to keep yourself updated on the current affairs, general knowledge and almost everything that ever happened. It’s also important that you keep revising your subjects. In nutshell never stop studying!
My first interview in Bhutan was after diploma. I was interviewed for BNBL and I got the post. After I resigned and went to pursue degree, I had no reason to undergo any interviews for the next 3 years.
So my second interview was after completion of my degree three years later, was for BoB (Bank of Bhutan), just before the RCSC exams.
I got selected in the top 5 among the 52 candidates that sat for written test. After VIVA though I couldn’t make it I got the second place and unfortunately they had only one vacancy. Anyways all’s well that ends well.
My third interview was RCSC but the result took too long in coming that I felt so restless and I had to do something. So my fourth interview was once again for BNBL. Despite many people’s protest that I cannot apply there again, I went ahead with my instinct which said otherwise. I got short listed in the top 7 among the hundreds those who applied there. After VIVA, I got selected for the only post of system administrator.
Just then, BBS interview was announced on the evening news. I went for the written test only to experience something different from the IT interviews. So instead of archieve officer (which required IT knowledge), I appeared for the post of producer. To my utter disappointment the post was for radio and not for TV as I have hoped.
Well BBS informed us that the written test result is going to take sometime in coming. But of course for me, there was no hurry at all. I just used the whole procedure as guinea pig.
Then on 24th December RCSC result was declared there and I got through. Although only 6 vacancies were announced for 122 IT–3 years Technical graduates, I still could get the third best option since I secured the 3rd position.
Just after RCSC results BBS interview results were announced and I got short listed for the post of producer, current affairs (English). I was quite surprised because I never thought I could do any interview apart from the IT interviews.
That was the only 5 interviews I ever attended in my life till now and I am glad that I could do well in all those interviews. Well I think it’s time I stop underestimating my abilities and start believing in myself that I am no less than others.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Ranked 3rd in Technical Category (IT-3 yrs) – RCSC
Some say that college is good and some say this is good but I personally felt no threat from any college be it Sherubtse or VIT because we are all university graduates and we all have the same potential in us.
It’s not the college or lecturers that determine our knowledge or capability. It’s basically ourselves that matters. If you are not hardworking or if you have no faith in yourself no amount of lecturing could do you any good.
I was shocked when I ranked 3rd among the technical graduates in IT-3 years among 122 graduates but I guess my hard work is finally being paid of and rewarded for.
But it’s sad that we receive no recognition from anybody. For people it’s as if only the general graduates have done RCSC and not the technical ones. It’s not like we can’t sit for general category but that’s not appropriate for us. Is it a case of ‘majority wins’? With more grads appearing for the general category it’s always been them who received people’s appreciation but I am happy that we don’t need to undergo one more year in RIM pursuing Diploma.
It’s not the college or lecturers that determine our knowledge or capability. It’s basically ourselves that matters. If you are not hardworking or if you have no faith in yourself no amount of lecturing could do you any good.
I was shocked when I ranked 3rd among the technical graduates in IT-3 years among 122 graduates but I guess my hard work is finally being paid of and rewarded for.
But it’s sad that we receive no recognition from anybody. For people it’s as if only the general graduates have done RCSC and not the technical ones. It’s not like we can’t sit for general category but that’s not appropriate for us. Is it a case of ‘majority wins’? With more grads appearing for the general category it’s always been them who received people’s appreciation but I am happy that we don’t need to undergo one more year in RIM pursuing Diploma.
Which is best: BNBL or RCSC?
Sometimes having options is not totally cool because it creates confusion in us. At this point I am totally confused whether to opt for BNBL or go for government job.
Some say BNBL pays more and there are loan advantages and that I should go for BNBL. On the other hand, there’s RCSC and job security and my folks wants me to opt for government job.
I wish I knew what’s best for me so I could get in with clear conscience but nobody can predict the future and I am left in dilemma whether to remain with BNBL or to join the civil service.
I personally was never in favor of the government jobs but with 2 more banks coming up in Bhutan I can’t even say if I have a future in BNBL and also I am not so familiar with the BNBL service rules so I can’t be sure when I might get fired.
I guess it all boils down to making the right choice in life and I am not even sure which is the right job for me. Since the RCSC results my mind was never settled and people make me more confused.
What should I do? Which job is better for me? I wish somebody could list all the pros and cons of my options so that I could opt for the best one.
Some say BNBL pays more and there are loan advantages and that I should go for BNBL. On the other hand, there’s RCSC and job security and my folks wants me to opt for government job.
I wish I knew what’s best for me so I could get in with clear conscience but nobody can predict the future and I am left in dilemma whether to remain with BNBL or to join the civil service.
I personally was never in favor of the government jobs but with 2 more banks coming up in Bhutan I can’t even say if I have a future in BNBL and also I am not so familiar with the BNBL service rules so I can’t be sure when I might get fired.
I guess it all boils down to making the right choice in life and I am not even sure which is the right job for me. Since the RCSC results my mind was never settled and people make me more confused.
What should I do? Which job is better for me? I wish somebody could list all the pros and cons of my options so that I could opt for the best one.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Who’s Gonna Be Next: DPT (itself) or PDP?
There are people who are not at all into politics but I guess I am not one of them. As of now, no I don’t want to get into politics because I don’t have the experience or people’s support but I have dreamed of being a MP one day 8 – 10 years down the line.
For now I don’t care much about who’s ruling and who’s opposition in the parliament but there are people who says the DPT government will not get his/her vote the next election. Maybe for him the DPT government isn’t living up to the expectations of the people. And yet there’s another group of people who says the DPT government hasn’t got the luck because of the earthquake and the floods we experienced in the past year. Now the question is can we really blame the government for natural calamities and disasters? I guess the Buddhism in us is to be blamed. Maybe we are being hysterical because natural calamity is because of scientific reasons and not because of the ruling government.
Whatever the reason maybe the next election in 2013 is going to be tough one since the ruling party is losing the trust of the people. I have heard of many people who wants vote in favor of the opposition party the next election. Some people say our opposition leader resembles the US President, Barack Obama and they think just like Obama we can expect young and dynamic leadership from the OL Tshering Tobgay.
I believe only time can tell whether it’s going to be the opposition party or the DPT government itself which would be winning the next election. And whoever is ruling next time I hope there will be some women ministers because I need the encouragement if I am going to be contesting one day from Paro.
The DPT government is doing all it can and we find many times the ruling and the opposition party agreeing except for few cases like CDG (Constitution Development Grant), which is being opposed by the OL and the government still went ahead despite the protest from NC and opposition.
CDG is not supposed to be spend on recurring expenses but some MPs spent on boating facilities in the south (newspapers reported) and other stuffs. The opposition’s reason must be because if the government impress people with the CDG then there’s chances that they win the next election as well but I personally don’t take to CDG because it might function in the first few years then it could go to the MPs’ pocket.
And yet CDG has one advantage: it means equal development of all dzongkhags. As of now the development work is only being carried out in the east because government considers that part as under-developed. Dzongkhags like Paro has nothing being done. Is it bad that people there are already doing well? There’s nothing in the 10th FYP for Paro and being a parop I am really worried.
Well back to the topic. Who’s going to rule next? Is it going to be the DPT (itself) or PDP? Whom would you vote for?
For now I don’t care much about who’s ruling and who’s opposition in the parliament but there are people who says the DPT government will not get his/her vote the next election. Maybe for him the DPT government isn’t living up to the expectations of the people. And yet there’s another group of people who says the DPT government hasn’t got the luck because of the earthquake and the floods we experienced in the past year. Now the question is can we really blame the government for natural calamities and disasters? I guess the Buddhism in us is to be blamed. Maybe we are being hysterical because natural calamity is because of scientific reasons and not because of the ruling government.
Whatever the reason maybe the next election in 2013 is going to be tough one since the ruling party is losing the trust of the people. I have heard of many people who wants vote in favor of the opposition party the next election. Some people say our opposition leader resembles the US President, Barack Obama and they think just like Obama we can expect young and dynamic leadership from the OL Tshering Tobgay.
I believe only time can tell whether it’s going to be the opposition party or the DPT government itself which would be winning the next election. And whoever is ruling next time I hope there will be some women ministers because I need the encouragement if I am going to be contesting one day from Paro.
The DPT government is doing all it can and we find many times the ruling and the opposition party agreeing except for few cases like CDG (Constitution Development Grant), which is being opposed by the OL and the government still went ahead despite the protest from NC and opposition.
CDG is not supposed to be spend on recurring expenses but some MPs spent on boating facilities in the south (newspapers reported) and other stuffs. The opposition’s reason must be because if the government impress people with the CDG then there’s chances that they win the next election as well but I personally don’t take to CDG because it might function in the first few years then it could go to the MPs’ pocket.
And yet CDG has one advantage: it means equal development of all dzongkhags. As of now the development work is only being carried out in the east because government considers that part as under-developed. Dzongkhags like Paro has nothing being done. Is it bad that people there are already doing well? There’s nothing in the 10th FYP for Paro and being a parop I am really worried.
Well back to the topic. Who’s going to rule next? Is it going to be the DPT (itself) or PDP? Whom would you vote for?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Stalkers behind me…
At 9 pm I was still in the office (correction, my brother’s office), browsing and chatting. It was really late and I knew I had to leave but my legs won’t oblige. Finally with a heavy heart I rose to leave all the temptations behind me.
I knew I should have left by 8 instead of being an hour late. As I climbed down the endless spiral staircase my heart started hammering against my chest. There were few youngsters smoking on the corridor but I tried not to show my fear, walking as fast as my legs could manage.
When I reached the ground floor those youngsters started descending the stairs too. Fear gripped my heart. I looked around but the street was completely deserted except for few stray dogs loitering.
I started increasing my pace my walking faster but I didn’t want those kids to think I was afraid and they were fast catching up on me. I couldn’t think of running with those high hills on and if I didn’t I was in danger. What was I to do? There was not a soul in sight and I knew I was in trouble but I couldn’t give up then. I had to do everything I could to rescue myself from the gangsters.
I was almost running now but those punks were not so far behind me. In fact the distance became even lesser between us. I knew I needed help but I didn’t even know if 911 worked in Bhutan as well. I have always had that fantasy of being kidnapped by a gangster and falling in love but reality seemed much harder than that. Maybe Korean movies have inculcated that fantasy in me but then I realized I no longer wanted to be kidnapped by any gangsters, not even by a millionaire for that matter.
I had to keep my sanity if I had to fight those punks so I pretended not to be scared but I was shaking. Those punks seemed drunk and were arguing on something I couldn’t comprehend then. Finally the clock tower came in sight and I was relieved to find few people there. The youngsters behind me started walking leisurely maybe they didn’t want trouble too but I could sense them behind me still.
When I reached near those people I literally ran. I couldn’t dare look behind me for the fear that they might run too but I just ran and ran until I reached the footsteps of my house. There I kept buzzing the doorbell until it was opened by my brother. As soon as the door opened I jumped inside and banged the door behind me and latched it. It was only then I could release my pent up breath. I was so relieved to be in the confine of my house and for the first time in my life I thanked god for having a premises of my own.
I was so grateful to those people at the clock tower. It was only because of those people I didn’t become one of the rape victims today. Sometimes even strangers can touch your life unknowingly….
I knew I should have left by 8 instead of being an hour late. As I climbed down the endless spiral staircase my heart started hammering against my chest. There were few youngsters smoking on the corridor but I tried not to show my fear, walking as fast as my legs could manage.
When I reached the ground floor those youngsters started descending the stairs too. Fear gripped my heart. I looked around but the street was completely deserted except for few stray dogs loitering.
I started increasing my pace my walking faster but I didn’t want those kids to think I was afraid and they were fast catching up on me. I couldn’t think of running with those high hills on and if I didn’t I was in danger. What was I to do? There was not a soul in sight and I knew I was in trouble but I couldn’t give up then. I had to do everything I could to rescue myself from the gangsters.
I was almost running now but those punks were not so far behind me. In fact the distance became even lesser between us. I knew I needed help but I didn’t even know if 911 worked in Bhutan as well. I have always had that fantasy of being kidnapped by a gangster and falling in love but reality seemed much harder than that. Maybe Korean movies have inculcated that fantasy in me but then I realized I no longer wanted to be kidnapped by any gangsters, not even by a millionaire for that matter.
I had to keep my sanity if I had to fight those punks so I pretended not to be scared but I was shaking. Those punks seemed drunk and were arguing on something I couldn’t comprehend then. Finally the clock tower came in sight and I was relieved to find few people there. The youngsters behind me started walking leisurely maybe they didn’t want trouble too but I could sense them behind me still.
When I reached near those people I literally ran. I couldn’t dare look behind me for the fear that they might run too but I just ran and ran until I reached the footsteps of my house. There I kept buzzing the doorbell until it was opened by my brother. As soon as the door opened I jumped inside and banged the door behind me and latched it. It was only then I could release my pent up breath. I was so relieved to be in the confine of my house and for the first time in my life I thanked god for having a premises of my own.
I was so grateful to those people at the clock tower. It was only because of those people I didn’t become one of the rape victims today. Sometimes even strangers can touch your life unknowingly….
Soul Mate: is it just a myth?
I was never a believer of the concept of soul mate; of destiny and fate until I watched this movie “Serendipity” where the protagonists play with destiny and they come to believe in it when they eventually meet again by fate.
I now believe there’s going to be a soul mate for each and every one of us in this world irrespective of the circumstances and the location. It’s just a matter of time. He/she may not be the best looking or most qualified guy/gal but that person is going to be the right one for you. Don’t expect that person to pop out at the earliest instead wait for destiny to take its toll.
You need not be impatient and take destiny into your own hands because the pattern has been pre-designed by god so just let it happen to you in your own time. The wait maybe longer than you expected sometimes but the reward would be worth it. God has created a soul mate for all of us and when destiny brings him/her to you, you will just know that person is your Mr/Ms Right.
This is where commitment comes into the picture. When you meet the right person you will want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. You would no longer fear commitment and the responsibilities and obligations that come along.
People sometimes confuse coincidence with destiny but meeting people when you have no common business is not accidental, neither coincidence but that’s called ‘fate’. There are incidents where “a beauty married a beast” and we tend to think that girl has no eye for looks but that’s not entirely true. We are only living a pattern that has been designed already by the almighty and not under our control.
I now believe there’s going to be a soul mate for each and every one of us in this world irrespective of the circumstances and the location. It’s just a matter of time. He/she may not be the best looking or most qualified guy/gal but that person is going to be the right one for you. Don’t expect that person to pop out at the earliest instead wait for destiny to take its toll.
You need not be impatient and take destiny into your own hands because the pattern has been pre-designed by god so just let it happen to you in your own time. The wait maybe longer than you expected sometimes but the reward would be worth it. God has created a soul mate for all of us and when destiny brings him/her to you, you will just know that person is your Mr/Ms Right.
This is where commitment comes into the picture. When you meet the right person you will want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. You would no longer fear commitment and the responsibilities and obligations that come along.
People sometimes confuse coincidence with destiny but meeting people when you have no common business is not accidental, neither coincidence but that’s called ‘fate’. There are incidents where “a beauty married a beast” and we tend to think that girl has no eye for looks but that’s not entirely true. We are only living a pattern that has been designed already by the almighty and not under our control.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Single Woman
Why is it so difficult to accept single woman in our society? A single woman stands threat to many people: wives are afraid that she might take away their husbands; mothers are scared their son would be lured by her, parents fear there might not be anyone to look after her after they are gone
Does anyone even bother to know her own choice? Why do people want to make the matter worse by asking her if she is married at every turn? Whether a woman marries or not is her own choice and not anybody’s business. Why is our society so conservative that it’s so hard to see a single woman?
Not every woman wants to breed babies and respect husbands as god. That was all in the past. Today many women prefer career over marriage. All we need to do is to change our attitude and keep our minds open over things like marriage, divorce and live-in relationship. To me a live-in relationship sounds better than marriage: that way if you can’t tolerate your partner you can always make a clean break.
The most difficult question ever asked to me was, “Are you married? If not, why not?”
How am I ever supposed to answer that question? If I said “I am not interested”, they say, “Those who say that will marry first”.
If I said, “I am not ready yet” and they say, “How long are you going to wait? Till you are 80”
And if I answered, “I didn’t meet the right guy yet”, they say I haven’t been looking in the right place.
What bothers me most is why are people so eager to see me married off. It’s my life and I will live the way I want to. Whether I am married or divorced or if I changed husbands more than my clothes, is nobody’s concern. I just wish people wouldn’t poke their nose in my territory.
Why do people need to scrutinize spinsters so much? Just because a woman is unmarried doesn’t make her gay or less woman. Maybe she’s never met the right guy or maybe she’s genuinely not into marriage. Whatever the reason maybe it’s necessary that people tolerate her and learn to respect her wishes. Nobody can force or pressurize her to marry just because they are intimidated by single women in the society.
When it comes to marriage not even the parents has the right to push her. So let’s us learn to accept people the way they are and not based on the marital status because commitment is not the sole factor that determines a person’s efficiency and ability.
Does anyone even bother to know her own choice? Why do people want to make the matter worse by asking her if she is married at every turn? Whether a woman marries or not is her own choice and not anybody’s business. Why is our society so conservative that it’s so hard to see a single woman?
Not every woman wants to breed babies and respect husbands as god. That was all in the past. Today many women prefer career over marriage. All we need to do is to change our attitude and keep our minds open over things like marriage, divorce and live-in relationship. To me a live-in relationship sounds better than marriage: that way if you can’t tolerate your partner you can always make a clean break.
The most difficult question ever asked to me was, “Are you married? If not, why not?”
How am I ever supposed to answer that question? If I said “I am not interested”, they say, “Those who say that will marry first”.
If I said, “I am not ready yet” and they say, “How long are you going to wait? Till you are 80”
And if I answered, “I didn’t meet the right guy yet”, they say I haven’t been looking in the right place.
What bothers me most is why are people so eager to see me married off. It’s my life and I will live the way I want to. Whether I am married or divorced or if I changed husbands more than my clothes, is nobody’s concern. I just wish people wouldn’t poke their nose in my territory.
Why do people need to scrutinize spinsters so much? Just because a woman is unmarried doesn’t make her gay or less woman. Maybe she’s never met the right guy or maybe she’s genuinely not into marriage. Whatever the reason maybe it’s necessary that people tolerate her and learn to respect her wishes. Nobody can force or pressurize her to marry just because they are intimidated by single women in the society.
When it comes to marriage not even the parents has the right to push her. So let’s us learn to accept people the way they are and not based on the marital status because commitment is not the sole factor that determines a person’s efficiency and ability.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
History repeats again
Anita was on the phone again (did I tell you who she was? Well she used to be the maid at my uncle’s place). Who could have been on the other side, I wondered. This conversation went on for eternity and daily routine for her until I intervened one day.
I snatched the phone from her and asked who the person was on the other side.
“Mr. abc. And you?” judging by the voice I suspected him to be in his thirties.. uhh late thirties I should say.
“Well I am xyz” I answered coolly.
That was the beginning of the start. Now he totally lost interest in the other two girls and always asked for me. He was interested to know everything about me and I told him every possible lies. I told him I was a mother of five with salt-pepper hair and a home-maker but he wasn’t convinced. Our conversation became more and more interesting with each passing day.
I knew him to be older than me but I was surprised to have found out that he was some seventeen years my senior.
We were always on the phone talking and knowing each other though we haven’t met in real life. Then one day I was told that he was coming to Thimphu. I was excited at the same time worried. Anxiety was everything I felt in the next few days and eventually the fateful day arrived.
It was after 5 pm but still my uncle and aunt did not return home from work which gave me ample time to compose myself and rest my thumping heart against my chest, for the anticipation that wields against my stomach. It was then he called me outside to meet him for the very first time. Something held me back. I realized then that I was not ready for the encounter. I wanted to run, scream and wished the world collapsed and swallowed me alive. He called again and I was informed that he was just outside the house and waiting.
I sent Anita as my disguise. She went only to return shortly. I knew she wasn’t successful in her mission. Well the guy knew it was the wrong person. She described the guy as old, fat, bulky, broad etc. I was on the verse of changing my mind when I was called again. When I could come with no more excuses I went outside at once.
No sooner did I appear at the gate when I felt full force of a car’s headlight on my face. After adjusting my eyes to the darkness, a darker shade of green Maruti Van came towards me. It stopped a little distance away from me and the person inside beckoned me to him. I went hesitantly and stopped right in front of him, dump-founded.
Well to describe him, he was fair with charcoal black hair. He was wearing dark sunglasses (which I found awkward because it was dark then), so I did not notice his eyes’ color. Since he was seated I could not see his height too but Anita was right when she said he was huge and bulky.
Well the very first thing he did was shook my hand and did not let go off it easily. I had to finally pull away my hand. I became pretty skeptical about his behavior from the start.
“Pleased to meet you”, I was informed but I was worried if my uncle and aunty found me together with this weird man.
But he wasn’t done with me. We spent sometime talking before I could be excused. That was the beginning of a long relationship of betrayal, lies and excuses: a relationship based purely on lies….
I snatched the phone from her and asked who the person was on the other side.
“Mr. abc. And you?” judging by the voice I suspected him to be in his thirties.. uhh late thirties I should say.
“Well I am xyz” I answered coolly.
That was the beginning of the start. Now he totally lost interest in the other two girls and always asked for me. He was interested to know everything about me and I told him every possible lies. I told him I was a mother of five with salt-pepper hair and a home-maker but he wasn’t convinced. Our conversation became more and more interesting with each passing day.
I knew him to be older than me but I was surprised to have found out that he was some seventeen years my senior.
We were always on the phone talking and knowing each other though we haven’t met in real life. Then one day I was told that he was coming to Thimphu. I was excited at the same time worried. Anxiety was everything I felt in the next few days and eventually the fateful day arrived.
It was after 5 pm but still my uncle and aunt did not return home from work which gave me ample time to compose myself and rest my thumping heart against my chest, for the anticipation that wields against my stomach. It was then he called me outside to meet him for the very first time. Something held me back. I realized then that I was not ready for the encounter. I wanted to run, scream and wished the world collapsed and swallowed me alive. He called again and I was informed that he was just outside the house and waiting.
I sent Anita as my disguise. She went only to return shortly. I knew she wasn’t successful in her mission. Well the guy knew it was the wrong person. She described the guy as old, fat, bulky, broad etc. I was on the verse of changing my mind when I was called again. When I could come with no more excuses I went outside at once.
No sooner did I appear at the gate when I felt full force of a car’s headlight on my face. After adjusting my eyes to the darkness, a darker shade of green Maruti Van came towards me. It stopped a little distance away from me and the person inside beckoned me to him. I went hesitantly and stopped right in front of him, dump-founded.
Well to describe him, he was fair with charcoal black hair. He was wearing dark sunglasses (which I found awkward because it was dark then), so I did not notice his eyes’ color. Since he was seated I could not see his height too but Anita was right when she said he was huge and bulky.
Well the very first thing he did was shook my hand and did not let go off it easily. I had to finally pull away my hand. I became pretty skeptical about his behavior from the start.
“Pleased to meet you”, I was informed but I was worried if my uncle and aunty found me together with this weird man.
But he wasn’t done with me. We spent sometime talking before I could be excused. That was the beginning of a long relationship of betrayal, lies and excuses: a relationship based purely on lies….
Bhutanese film fraternity
Why is our Bhutanese movie industry not doing well in the country? Is it because there’s no audience in here? And why are we not taking interest in the Bhutanese movies? If the audience doesn’t like our movies then there’s something wrong with our movies.
I personally don’t take to the Bhutanese movies. I believe our Bhutanese actors are not natural. They are faking everything from dialogue to acting. And we lack the required technology. The story line is always monotonous sad love story with happy endings.
Though we have moved from the B&W Gasa Lamai Singye, there’s still room for improvement. Maybe the producers and directors should be less biased and work with professional actors than those of relatives and mistresses.
And why does our Bhutanese movie have songs and dances in it just like the Hindi movies? It’s not likely that people dance in reality every often. We see couples dancing when they are sad or happy, which of course is not the case in the real life.
Bhutanese movies are never made into DVDs and CDs. The producers just screen the movies in the Theatres on important occasions and stops there. The same movie comes next year on the same occasions like Thimphu Tsechu, Dromchoe etc. Are those people waiting for the audience they missed last year?
If only we have Bhutanese Film industry and professional actors, things could be different. We need actors who are involved solely in acting and not government or corporate employees who takes up acting as a part-time job.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Once upon a time in Kolkatta
Once in kolkatta, some four years ago I remember falling in love with my instructor. Now when I think about it I feel disgusted with myself. For god’s sake the guy wasn’t even cute. Am I always so naïve to fall for every ‘Tom, Dick and Harry’?
I remember the instructor as being fair but prematurely bald right in the middle of his head. For the whole month’s stay I was love-sick there. Food had no taste and I was walking the streets of Kolkatta without any purpose. He was everywhere in my thoughts and I had tough time keeping my emotion under control.
The guy must have sensed something because once he said to me, “hoping to see you in Bhutan in March”. After returning to Bhutan I tried calling him but he messaged me saying he was out of station and will call me back which he never did and I am glad for that.
Afterwards I couldn’t meet him in Bhutan too and that was the end of one of my many unrequited love stories. I kept thinking of him for months after that but then that phase of my life is over and I am glad to be in one piece unharmed still.
I remember the instructor as being fair but prematurely bald right in the middle of his head. For the whole month’s stay I was love-sick there. Food had no taste and I was walking the streets of Kolkatta without any purpose. He was everywhere in my thoughts and I had tough time keeping my emotion under control.
The guy must have sensed something because once he said to me, “hoping to see you in Bhutan in March”. After returning to Bhutan I tried calling him but he messaged me saying he was out of station and will call me back which he never did and I am glad for that.
Afterwards I couldn’t meet him in Bhutan too and that was the end of one of my many unrequited love stories. I kept thinking of him for months after that but then that phase of my life is over and I am glad to be in one piece unharmed still.
My childhood friend
When I was little, I had different friends then. not the friends I have today but those from my locality.
One such friend was TC. We grew up in the same neighborhood and we were best of friends. Though she was a year junior to me, she got admitted in school a year before because of right hand refused to touch my left ear (it was a measure to admit kids to school those days), and I was stupid not to have known to try any trick.
Later I could catch up with her since I was better in studies than her but we always remained the best of friends throughout our childhood. Those days I used to be pretty good in studies so gradually left her behind and finally the day came when I had to go different school since ours had only up to the sixth standard. And as always, distance took away our closeness.
I had new friends by then and so did she. We hardly met since I was in boarding school and our meeting was frequented only to my monthly outings. Moreover those outings were only for a day which was mostly spent with family.
Years later, I found myself in RIM when she fell very ill. We were both grown up by then. The memory of our last meeting is still fresh in my mind. It was during one of my visits home when I spotted her outside her house taking in the winter sun. I went up to her and we talked for a couple of hours.
She looked so thin and pale. There was not an ounce of flesh on her entire body. My heart went out to her. I know I can’t blame her folks because they did everything in their power to get her treated which included taking her abroad for treatment. But I believe god had his own way of dealing with lives.
Well we talked about everything and nothing. I wished to stay longer but I had to report to RIM so I left her with her thoughts and came. Few hours later, my sister called me up and informed me that TC was no more.
It was like a blow to my face. Even to these days, I always think god wanted me to meet her one last time before he was done with her. It was as if she was waiting for me.
With my two friends I offered some butter lamps in Semtokha dzong for her but I couldn’t attend her funeral the next day. Somehow cremation ground always seemed so creepy for me but for the life of me, I’d always regret not being there for her funeral to bid her one final good bye. I doubt if I’d ever be able to forgive myself for that mistake.
Maybe she didn’t forgive me too because I always dream of her almost every night. In my dreams, I’d see few friends and later one face would always change to hers. And in dreams, I wouldn’t know she isn’t alive anymore.
Morning I’d wake up, remember the dream of the previous night and feel void and numb but not scared.
One such friend was TC. We grew up in the same neighborhood and we were best of friends. Though she was a year junior to me, she got admitted in school a year before because of right hand refused to touch my left ear (it was a measure to admit kids to school those days), and I was stupid not to have known to try any trick.
Later I could catch up with her since I was better in studies than her but we always remained the best of friends throughout our childhood. Those days I used to be pretty good in studies so gradually left her behind and finally the day came when I had to go different school since ours had only up to the sixth standard. And as always, distance took away our closeness.
I had new friends by then and so did she. We hardly met since I was in boarding school and our meeting was frequented only to my monthly outings. Moreover those outings were only for a day which was mostly spent with family.
Years later, I found myself in RIM when she fell very ill. We were both grown up by then. The memory of our last meeting is still fresh in my mind. It was during one of my visits home when I spotted her outside her house taking in the winter sun. I went up to her and we talked for a couple of hours.
She looked so thin and pale. There was not an ounce of flesh on her entire body. My heart went out to her. I know I can’t blame her folks because they did everything in their power to get her treated which included taking her abroad for treatment. But I believe god had his own way of dealing with lives.
Well we talked about everything and nothing. I wished to stay longer but I had to report to RIM so I left her with her thoughts and came. Few hours later, my sister called me up and informed me that TC was no more.
It was like a blow to my face. Even to these days, I always think god wanted me to meet her one last time before he was done with her. It was as if she was waiting for me.
With my two friends I offered some butter lamps in Semtokha dzong for her but I couldn’t attend her funeral the next day. Somehow cremation ground always seemed so creepy for me but for the life of me, I’d always regret not being there for her funeral to bid her one final good bye. I doubt if I’d ever be able to forgive myself for that mistake.
Maybe she didn’t forgive me too because I always dream of her almost every night. In my dreams, I’d see few friends and later one face would always change to hers. And in dreams, I wouldn’t know she isn’t alive anymore.
Morning I’d wake up, remember the dream of the previous night and feel void and numb but not scared.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Seducing Mr. Perfect
My love life’s been a flip-flop: falling in love and falling out of love. It was like a bumpy roller-coaster ride.
I used to fall in love with every man I ever laid eyes on only to find the guy repulsive after few days. Maybe it’s an understatement to call is ‘love’. Because ‘true love’ last longer than days or maybe the whole thing is just hoax. After all these days, love is money and success. People always fall in love with other people with money, status and successful career. Even looks does not count much except that if it’s there it’s an added bonus.
Well anyways before I divert from the main stream let me get to the point. After few failed relationship I have decided that I am not made for love and vice-versa, at least not the romantic love. Now I am almost convinced that my life is going to be one very long, lonely, cold and alone. And at 80 I might regret not having children to take care of my funeral. But then I’d rather prefer this to a miserable life with a lousy husband or a trouble-maker boy friend.
Just when I had almost made up my mind, then something happened that has a potential to change my mind. Well I was online the other day when I met this amazing guy. He’s totally cool and too wise for his age. At 23 the guy talks like he had decades of experience. I hate to admit the guy is too young for me but I can’t help feeling like Kate Winslet in movie The Reader, romancing a youngster.
The guy is everything most guys were not: charming, witty, intelligent, cute and good looking. With him I can be myself, instead of pretending to be someone I was not. I feel very comfortable and at ease with him. I enjoy his company so much that I always feel time just fly by that leaves me wishing for more.
He’s one guy with both his head and heart intact. He’s smart, fun to be with and totally charming. He can be one hell of a flirt when he wants to and yet he’s so modest at times. He accepts me for who I am and he’s punctual, honest and giving and expects nothing in return. It’s in his nature to be honest with what he has to say and never fails to compliment the other person. Also his collection of vocabulary is amazing.
He is like drug. It’s hard not to get addicted to him. Although we haven’t seen each other in reality, somehow I feel very comfortable with him. We have so many things in common so we never run out of topics to discuss. The subject ranges from personal interest, hobbies to books to movies and everything under the sky.
At first I was bit ill at ease. I thought the guy must be making fun of me with his bunch of friends but now I am pretty convinced that he takes me seriously. He thinks I am one sensible, intelligent and lovely lady and I am totally flattered. Coming from him, it means more than anything in the world.
Well I have no idea how long we’d be together or whether we’d even meet in reality but I am just grateful to the almighty that he let him in my life and I am going to treasure him for a long time to come. Whatever happens in the future, I know I have these wonderful memories to cherish and cling on to.
I used to fall in love with every man I ever laid eyes on only to find the guy repulsive after few days. Maybe it’s an understatement to call is ‘love’. Because ‘true love’ last longer than days or maybe the whole thing is just hoax. After all these days, love is money and success. People always fall in love with other people with money, status and successful career. Even looks does not count much except that if it’s there it’s an added bonus.
Well anyways before I divert from the main stream let me get to the point. After few failed relationship I have decided that I am not made for love and vice-versa, at least not the romantic love. Now I am almost convinced that my life is going to be one very long, lonely, cold and alone. And at 80 I might regret not having children to take care of my funeral. But then I’d rather prefer this to a miserable life with a lousy husband or a trouble-maker boy friend.
Just when I had almost made up my mind, then something happened that has a potential to change my mind. Well I was online the other day when I met this amazing guy. He’s totally cool and too wise for his age. At 23 the guy talks like he had decades of experience. I hate to admit the guy is too young for me but I can’t help feeling like Kate Winslet in movie The Reader, romancing a youngster.
The guy is everything most guys were not: charming, witty, intelligent, cute and good looking. With him I can be myself, instead of pretending to be someone I was not. I feel very comfortable and at ease with him. I enjoy his company so much that I always feel time just fly by that leaves me wishing for more.
He’s one guy with both his head and heart intact. He’s smart, fun to be with and totally charming. He can be one hell of a flirt when he wants to and yet he’s so modest at times. He accepts me for who I am and he’s punctual, honest and giving and expects nothing in return. It’s in his nature to be honest with what he has to say and never fails to compliment the other person. Also his collection of vocabulary is amazing.
He is like drug. It’s hard not to get addicted to him. Although we haven’t seen each other in reality, somehow I feel very comfortable with him. We have so many things in common so we never run out of topics to discuss. The subject ranges from personal interest, hobbies to books to movies and everything under the sky.
At first I was bit ill at ease. I thought the guy must be making fun of me with his bunch of friends but now I am pretty convinced that he takes me seriously. He thinks I am one sensible, intelligent and lovely lady and I am totally flattered. Coming from him, it means more than anything in the world.
Well I have no idea how long we’d be together or whether we’d even meet in reality but I am just grateful to the almighty that he let him in my life and I am going to treasure him for a long time to come. Whatever happens in the future, I know I have these wonderful memories to cherish and cling on to.
Empowering women in Bhutan
The equality of sexes and discrimination of women are most talked about subjects with the institutions of NGOs like the CEDAW, NCWC and RENEW etc here in Bhutan.
I personally have never experienced discrimination, be it at home or in the society. My parents though illiterates have never objected to me doing anything. I have taken all my decisions ever since I could recall and my folks were completely agreeable with it. Like me there are so many others who are fortunate to have very liberal parents and less cynical neighborhood.
But this is not the case for every woman in the Bhutanese society. We read cases of battery, violence and discrimination against women in the everyday paper. There are less fortunate women who falls prey to the ruthless husbands. Newspapers report of such cases but there are many more unreported for the fear of publicity and disgrace.
For such women the NGOs like NCWC and RENEW are very helpful. They help those women in need and help her establish a life for herself. The question is how many women would seek help? Most uneducated women are not willing to part with her husband despite violence because they think the children will suffer. After all, a child without father is not treated right in our society.
Well who’s behind this discrimination against women? Most men today are educated and hence consider the women are their equal. But there are those men with ancient thinking that they consider themselves superior to their female counterpart. And the women, at least some women are equally to be blamed. I have seen some women who think they are inferior. Those women are always willing to let the men lead them and they follow. Maybe it’s the women themselves who causes discrimination against them in the first place. In order to be treated equal it’s important to act equal.
But then discrimination is almost non-existent in Bhutan. We are fortunate to be born here. Today most discrimination against women occurs in the extremist countries with Islamic religion. We can only sympathize with those women clad in bhurkha from head to toe.
“The days when women’s sole aim in life is to secure a husband are long gone” (Penny Jordan). It’s time we stand up for ourselves and speak up to be heard.
I personally have never experienced discrimination, be it at home or in the society. My parents though illiterates have never objected to me doing anything. I have taken all my decisions ever since I could recall and my folks were completely agreeable with it. Like me there are so many others who are fortunate to have very liberal parents and less cynical neighborhood.
But this is not the case for every woman in the Bhutanese society. We read cases of battery, violence and discrimination against women in the everyday paper. There are less fortunate women who falls prey to the ruthless husbands. Newspapers report of such cases but there are many more unreported for the fear of publicity and disgrace.
For such women the NGOs like NCWC and RENEW are very helpful. They help those women in need and help her establish a life for herself. The question is how many women would seek help? Most uneducated women are not willing to part with her husband despite violence because they think the children will suffer. After all, a child without father is not treated right in our society.
Well who’s behind this discrimination against women? Most men today are educated and hence consider the women are their equal. But there are those men with ancient thinking that they consider themselves superior to their female counterpart. And the women, at least some women are equally to be blamed. I have seen some women who think they are inferior. Those women are always willing to let the men lead them and they follow. Maybe it’s the women themselves who causes discrimination against them in the first place. In order to be treated equal it’s important to act equal.
But then discrimination is almost non-existent in Bhutan. We are fortunate to be born here. Today most discrimination against women occurs in the extremist countries with Islamic religion. We can only sympathize with those women clad in bhurkha from head to toe.
“The days when women’s sole aim in life is to secure a husband are long gone” (Penny Jordan). It’s time we stand up for ourselves and speak up to be heard.
My pathetic life
I have reached the silver-jubilee of my life and yet when I look about myself there’s nothing significant about it. I am still unemployed, still dependent on my folks and siblings.
The other day I was just mentally asking myself what I have achieved in my life till now and I couldn’t come up with anything. The greatest possessions of mine are few certificates, my laptop and my hard disk bought at the expense of my parents. Except for few drapes of clothes, I have absolutely nothing and my zero bank balance does nothing to improve my condition.
I am very ashamed of my pathetic life. Except for little household chores, I do nothing at all to help those I am dependent on and yet I act so proud of myself sometimes, which of course is wrong in my opinion. For god’s sake, I should be earning and standing on my feet instead of depending on my parents for my livelihood.
Though my folks never complained once, I remember my mom sometimes saying, “Look Payday, that girl is your age and now she’s a mother of three”.
Not that I judge a person by the number of off-springs she can reproduce but of course my mom must have meant it in a different context. To her maybe, maturity is measured in terms of children but sadly I’d have to disagree with her on this matter. I’d never be envious of a woman with children.
Neither does marriage attracts me. I have this crazy notion that a woman can never achieve her dreams if she married and started family. Maybe that’s not necessarily true but I guess I am some sort of psycho commitment phobia person. Like every normal person I have a dream too. I dream of being an independent, successful and somebody in my life. But that dream might remain a dream only if I stayed idle at home everyday like I am doing now.
I am always this jumble of nerves whenever I attend any interviews because now I am desperate to do something. Maybe it’s high time I do something if only to kill time and prevent myself doing anything wild. Sometimes I fear I might turn into some rustic dork because of long hours of staying alone at home, with no social life at all.
Next time I find any job I just am going to get in with closed eyes. I am really feed up of waiting for the RCSC result also. I guess ‘beggars can’t be choosers”. I am definitely going to grab anything that comes my way. I can’t afford to let go of anything; not now, not ever.
The other day I was just mentally asking myself what I have achieved in my life till now and I couldn’t come up with anything. The greatest possessions of mine are few certificates, my laptop and my hard disk bought at the expense of my parents. Except for few drapes of clothes, I have absolutely nothing and my zero bank balance does nothing to improve my condition.
I am very ashamed of my pathetic life. Except for little household chores, I do nothing at all to help those I am dependent on and yet I act so proud of myself sometimes, which of course is wrong in my opinion. For god’s sake, I should be earning and standing on my feet instead of depending on my parents for my livelihood.
Though my folks never complained once, I remember my mom sometimes saying, “Look Payday, that girl is your age and now she’s a mother of three”.
Not that I judge a person by the number of off-springs she can reproduce but of course my mom must have meant it in a different context. To her maybe, maturity is measured in terms of children but sadly I’d have to disagree with her on this matter. I’d never be envious of a woman with children.
Neither does marriage attracts me. I have this crazy notion that a woman can never achieve her dreams if she married and started family. Maybe that’s not necessarily true but I guess I am some sort of psycho commitment phobia person. Like every normal person I have a dream too. I dream of being an independent, successful and somebody in my life. But that dream might remain a dream only if I stayed idle at home everyday like I am doing now.
I am always this jumble of nerves whenever I attend any interviews because now I am desperate to do something. Maybe it’s high time I do something if only to kill time and prevent myself doing anything wild. Sometimes I fear I might turn into some rustic dork because of long hours of staying alone at home, with no social life at all.
Next time I find any job I just am going to get in with closed eyes. I am really feed up of waiting for the RCSC result also. I guess ‘beggars can’t be choosers”. I am definitely going to grab anything that comes my way. I can’t afford to let go of anything; not now, not ever.
Drayang/Bar Dancer Girls
The Bhutanese outlook on the bar/drayang girls is that of prostitutes. Of course the Bhutanese society has always been full of gossips. Why can’t we just let people do what they wish to do? Is it a sin to work and earn your bread?
Maybe it’s time people understand that not everyone can be doctors and engineers in life. We need diversity in the profession. We need some to be doctors because we have patience. Likewise we need entertainers in the bars because we have customers. What’s so wrong with girls dancing in the bar as long as she’s doing something to survive?
People don’t complain when their children do nothing at home but lashes out on a poor girl who dances in the bar because she has no other alternatives. Are we such a snob that we look down upon those who struggle in life? A work is a work, be it politician or whore or driver.
There was news on BBS of the drayang girls which virtually labeled them as the whores. It said how the drayang girls where educated on HIV-AIDS, because these girls are bound to service the customers. Well there might be some girls like that for financial gain but I think that’s the case of one rotten apple spoiling the whole basket.
It’s not only the bar girls but also RAPA dancers which comes under the public scrutiny and the public eyes them with such disdain. Maybe it’s time we change our attitude against those dancers and respect them for their afford to keep themselves alive. Let’s appreciate them for their courage to pursue such career despite public disagreement.
Maybe it’s time people understand that not everyone can be doctors and engineers in life. We need diversity in the profession. We need some to be doctors because we have patience. Likewise we need entertainers in the bars because we have customers. What’s so wrong with girls dancing in the bar as long as she’s doing something to survive?
People don’t complain when their children do nothing at home but lashes out on a poor girl who dances in the bar because she has no other alternatives. Are we such a snob that we look down upon those who struggle in life? A work is a work, be it politician or whore or driver.
There was news on BBS of the drayang girls which virtually labeled them as the whores. It said how the drayang girls where educated on HIV-AIDS, because these girls are bound to service the customers. Well there might be some girls like that for financial gain but I think that’s the case of one rotten apple spoiling the whole basket.
It’s not only the bar girls but also RAPA dancers which comes under the public scrutiny and the public eyes them with such disdain. Maybe it’s time we change our attitude against those dancers and respect them for their afford to keep themselves alive. Let’s appreciate them for their courage to pursue such career despite public disagreement.
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