I take my cell in my hand and ask myself, “should I call now?” no, I cannot call, not now at least. I dare not. My hand would automatically grab my mobile and punch in his number. Somehow this has become something like naturally initiated stimulus and I had to literally drag my hand away. The left hand has assumed the role of controlling the right because it’s always the right hand that goes in search of my cell.
Suddenly I am scared of the mere thought of calling. What if he chose to ignore it? Worse still, if he decides to cut it. How humiliating for me then? Would I be able to live with that insult?
Love or infatuation, whatever you call it, is a crazy thing. It makes you go nuts and do crazy stuffs. Then again, my right hand gradually snatches the phone for the hundredth time and I take a moment to reconsider.
“Should I call now or should I wait for his call?” but what if he never calls? Can’t I not forget my pride just this time and initiate. Maybe it’s no big deal at all. Maybe I am being indecisive and overly sensitive. I am calling now. Whatever happens afterwards let me deal with the consequences. I punch in the number again and decide to press the green button.
“Oh nooooo..” the bombshell dropped. I can’t do this. Those unanswered questions popped up in my head yet again.
The spacious room suddenly seems so small. I feel breathless now and my whole body is shaking. I feel like a school girl in the principal’s office ready to be penalized for some mischievous offense.
For every incoming call my ears would prick like that of a dog’s to the sound of bones only to end up disappointed when the caller id reveals it’s not him.
No I can’t do this today. I don’t have the guts to call now. Perhaps next time? Or the next-next time….if there’s one for us.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Generous with beggars
Are Bhutanese people by nature compassionate? Or do we credit this compassion to Buddhism in us?
Last Sunday, I was waiting in my cousin’s taxi at the Centenary Farmer’s Market while he went to fetch few more passengers to Paro. There was one beggar on the steps of the wooden bridge over Wangchhu. As people climbed up and down the steps, I noticed many people stopping by the beggar and giving the poor man his day’s earning.
First a group of youth came down the steps. All of them handed him Nu. 5 note. After seeing them do so, a little girl handed him Nu. 5 note as well.
Afterwards, two nuns reached his side, looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and helplessness in their eyes and opened their purse and gave him Nu. 10 and Nu. 5 note respectively.
Unlike people coming down the steps, those climbing up were not so generous with their cash. Are they waiting for their return from the other side or is this got something to do with our belief that, poor are poor because of their generous nature? Usually we find rich people are more stingy and difficult to part with their money.
After a while a man in black gho climbed down the steps leisurely, paused at the beggar’s side. I thought he was having second thoughts whether to give or not to give. Finally he’s given in to the temptation and offered the poor man Nu. 10 note.
That was the last I saw of the transaction taking place since my cousin came with the required passengers and we started out with the journey to Paro.
I wanted to see the beggar so much but was lazy to get out of the taxi. I couldn’t see the face of the beggar because he was sitting behind the wall which barred my sight of him. But for the life of me I’d never understand why people there were so attracted to this beggar in particular.
Never had I seen people giving Nu. 10 note to any beggar. So what was the attraction? Was he (it could have been she) in such pathetic condition? Or is it because people in that particular region are more generous? I didn’t stay long enough to find out.
Last Sunday, I was waiting in my cousin’s taxi at the Centenary Farmer’s Market while he went to fetch few more passengers to Paro. There was one beggar on the steps of the wooden bridge over Wangchhu. As people climbed up and down the steps, I noticed many people stopping by the beggar and giving the poor man his day’s earning.
First a group of youth came down the steps. All of them handed him Nu. 5 note. After seeing them do so, a little girl handed him Nu. 5 note as well.
Afterwards, two nuns reached his side, looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and helplessness in their eyes and opened their purse and gave him Nu. 10 and Nu. 5 note respectively.
Unlike people coming down the steps, those climbing up were not so generous with their cash. Are they waiting for their return from the other side or is this got something to do with our belief that, poor are poor because of their generous nature? Usually we find rich people are more stingy and difficult to part with their money.
After a while a man in black gho climbed down the steps leisurely, paused at the beggar’s side. I thought he was having second thoughts whether to give or not to give. Finally he’s given in to the temptation and offered the poor man Nu. 10 note.
That was the last I saw of the transaction taking place since my cousin came with the required passengers and we started out with the journey to Paro.
I wanted to see the beggar so much but was lazy to get out of the taxi. I couldn’t see the face of the beggar because he was sitting behind the wall which barred my sight of him. But for the life of me I’d never understand why people there were so attracted to this beggar in particular.
Never had I seen people giving Nu. 10 note to any beggar. So what was the attraction? Was he (it could have been she) in such pathetic condition? Or is it because people in that particular region are more generous? I didn’t stay long enough to find out.
My Space
My office on the whole is a jumble of wires and systems lying all over the place and there’s hardly place for you to move around in the huge room. But there in the corner I have maintained a place for myself. Something I can call my own.
Well I have a computer and a desk that spans two adjacent walls in the corner of the room. Everything is immaculately in place. That’s very typical of me now. The walls are clean with calendar and few pictures of Guru Rinpoche and His Majesty. I have not overdone the walls like that of pan-dokan (pardon my spelling) because I wanted to give a professional look to it.
The two drawers are spotless except for few types of stationery like rough papers, cello tape, stapler,few spiral notes and a photo frame. On the partition wall, is few stick notes supposed to remind me of the things to do? At my feet lies the heater, which of course won’t be necessary in the summer.
With the above said things and a comfortable rotating chair completes the picture. This is how I always wanted things to be. I am glad that I wake up in the morning and have a place to go everyday. I always look forward to coming and being here all day long. I think I have found what I have been looking for all my life.
Now all I need to do is to be professional and work and my life is complete. I believe I have found all my missing pieces now.
Love and live life!!
p.s. I will upload a picture (of my office) to justify my article
Well I have a computer and a desk that spans two adjacent walls in the corner of the room. Everything is immaculately in place. That’s very typical of me now. The walls are clean with calendar and few pictures of Guru Rinpoche and His Majesty. I have not overdone the walls like that of pan-dokan (pardon my spelling) because I wanted to give a professional look to it.
The two drawers are spotless except for few types of stationery like rough papers, cello tape, stapler,few spiral notes and a photo frame. On the partition wall, is few stick notes supposed to remind me of the things to do? At my feet lies the heater, which of course won’t be necessary in the summer.
With the above said things and a comfortable rotating chair completes the picture. This is how I always wanted things to be. I am glad that I wake up in the morning and have a place to go everyday. I always look forward to coming and being here all day long. I think I have found what I have been looking for all my life.
Now all I need to do is to be professional and work and my life is complete. I believe I have found all my missing pieces now.
Love and live life!!
p.s. I will upload a picture (of my office) to justify my article
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Make Money by writing Online
They say the internet is full of opportunities. Thanks to the modern technology, today we can go to the day-job and still earn side income by writing something you’d enjoy especially if you are an aspiring writer. There are hundreds of websites which employ freelance writers.
We have our own share of Bhutanese writers. There are people writing in Nopkin.com, Kuzuzangpo, Kuensel forums etc. I have no idea if our Bhutanese writers and bloggers are contributing to the revenue generating websites but if you haven’t yet, maybe it’s time you did.
I am not talking from experience but have learned through the reviews of millions of freelance writers around the globe. I don’t know how it might work with us but we do have good writers in Bhutan too. Well I believe it’s worthwhile to gain extra revenue while pursuing your own hobby (that being writing).
If you already have a blog to your name, do add google’s adsense to the free space on your blog. They say every click by your readers would fetch you little money. Earning few bucks while doing what you love is motivating and added bonus.
There’s a thirst for some good materials to read especially when magazines mainly focus on celebrity gossips and newspapers on the current affairs and facts.
Just write some quality articles on the popular subjects and contribute to any website that accepts your writing.
Following are few recommended sites I have collected for the past couple of days based on people’s review.
Once again, I repeat, I have not done any contributing but I might in future. I’m not even sure if they accept Bhutanese writers because some sites are solely for Americans and restrict others but then you can check that before you proceed.
Good luck with your writing. Start today and be a freelance writer and earn!
We have our own share of Bhutanese writers. There are people writing in Nopkin.com, Kuzuzangpo, Kuensel forums etc. I have no idea if our Bhutanese writers and bloggers are contributing to the revenue generating websites but if you haven’t yet, maybe it’s time you did.
I am not talking from experience but have learned through the reviews of millions of freelance writers around the globe. I don’t know how it might work with us but we do have good writers in Bhutan too. Well I believe it’s worthwhile to gain extra revenue while pursuing your own hobby (that being writing).
If you already have a blog to your name, do add google’s adsense to the free space on your blog. They say every click by your readers would fetch you little money. Earning few bucks while doing what you love is motivating and added bonus.
There’s a thirst for some good materials to read especially when magazines mainly focus on celebrity gossips and newspapers on the current affairs and facts.
Just write some quality articles on the popular subjects and contribute to any website that accepts your writing.
Following are few recommended sites I have collected for the past couple of days based on people’s review.
- Suite101.com
- eHow.com
- associatedcontent.com
- helium.com
- reviewstream.com
Once again, I repeat, I have not done any contributing but I might in future. I’m not even sure if they accept Bhutanese writers because some sites are solely for Americans and restrict others but then you can check that before you proceed.
Good luck with your writing. Start today and be a freelance writer and earn!
Monday, January 11, 2010
I think I’m a geek
I have always thought of myself as a geek because I am socially uncomfortable, though talkative in nature, it’s always been difficult knowing people for the first time.
I should think ten times before I can leave my house and the very fact that I hate parties and hardly hang out with friends is a clear indication. I remember going to party last year and feeling completely out of place. Afterwards I never agreed to go to any parties because I realized that I don’t belong there.
Moreover my dress up is completely unfashionable, not that I haven’t tried but fashionable attire does not suit me. I have to admit there’s a geeky air about me and now I have given up trying to look stylish because all my effort goes in vain and it’s totally useless to pretend to be someone I’m not.
And when it comes to my thoughts I can be very conservative at times. I, for instance, think it’s not proper for couple to be living together before marriage and I am against gay marriages and infidelity or adultery.
I believe in one-man-one-woman relationships and against divorces and child born out of wedlock. So in nutshell I still think like how other people did in the sixties. I can’t do away with this ‘Victorian attitude’ which has been there with me ever since I can recall.
I know some people who look naturally sophisticated and stylish without any effort and some are pathetic like me, no amount of effort can change; neither their physical appearances nor their outlook towards life.
There are those tech-geeks who are geniuses but I can’t even be branded in that category because I have no brains but then I have learned to be happy and satisfied with what I have and sort of ceased to complain of things I lack. So I guess that makes me a dork. Well I am a dork and a proud one.
In a way there’s always a geeky side to all of us however otherwise we appear on the front-end (trying a technical term) so that makes everybody a geek, a doRK.
I should think ten times before I can leave my house and the very fact that I hate parties and hardly hang out with friends is a clear indication. I remember going to party last year and feeling completely out of place. Afterwards I never agreed to go to any parties because I realized that I don’t belong there.
Moreover my dress up is completely unfashionable, not that I haven’t tried but fashionable attire does not suit me. I have to admit there’s a geeky air about me and now I have given up trying to look stylish because all my effort goes in vain and it’s totally useless to pretend to be someone I’m not.
And when it comes to my thoughts I can be very conservative at times. I, for instance, think it’s not proper for couple to be living together before marriage and I am against gay marriages and infidelity or adultery.
I believe in one-man-one-woman relationships and against divorces and child born out of wedlock. So in nutshell I still think like how other people did in the sixties. I can’t do away with this ‘Victorian attitude’ which has been there with me ever since I can recall.
I know some people who look naturally sophisticated and stylish without any effort and some are pathetic like me, no amount of effort can change; neither their physical appearances nor their outlook towards life.
There are those tech-geeks who are geniuses but I can’t even be branded in that category because I have no brains but then I have learned to be happy and satisfied with what I have and sort of ceased to complain of things I lack. So I guess that makes me a dork. Well I am a dork and a proud one.
In a way there’s always a geeky side to all of us however otherwise we appear on the front-end (trying a technical term) so that makes everybody a geek, a doRK.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Gosh!! When do we stop studying?
When I was in school I thought I’d become a nun after class X if I didn’t qualify for government school in class XI. That ‘nun’ subject never surfaced again because I did qualify.
After ISC when I didn’t qualify for Sherubtse College I had to opt for diploma. Though the course really helped me a lot I wasn’t satisfied with my qualification. These days a bachelor’s degree is the minimum qualification in the job market.
I remember my diploma days in RIM when I felt so small in presence of the post-graduate students down there. That was when I decided that I need a degree too if only to boost my ego.
Well now that I have it, I see most people going for masters. Many people I know are either in the US or Canada or Australia and yet again I am starting to feel small with those people with Masters onto their credentials.
One week in office and I am already longing to do masters but my chances this time is very slim since I am not a civil servant but a corporate employee. With the help of my dear sister I have already started enquiring about the IELTS exams which is one of the basic requirements for pursuing any master’s course.
If I ever get to do Masters would be I satisfied then? Or would I want to do PhD then? Are we ever satisfied with what we have?
After ISC when I didn’t qualify for Sherubtse College I had to opt for diploma. Though the course really helped me a lot I wasn’t satisfied with my qualification. These days a bachelor’s degree is the minimum qualification in the job market.
I remember my diploma days in RIM when I felt so small in presence of the post-graduate students down there. That was when I decided that I need a degree too if only to boost my ego.
Well now that I have it, I see most people going for masters. Many people I know are either in the US or Canada or Australia and yet again I am starting to feel small with those people with Masters onto their credentials.
One week in office and I am already longing to do masters but my chances this time is very slim since I am not a civil servant but a corporate employee. With the help of my dear sister I have already started enquiring about the IELTS exams which is one of the basic requirements for pursuing any master’s course.
If I ever get to do Masters would be I satisfied then? Or would I want to do PhD then? Are we ever satisfied with what we have?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Dreaming of skyscrapers
It would be stupid of me if I said, ‘I wish to own a company’ because then you’d argue with me saying, ‘who doesn’t?’ but trust me, my reasons are very simple. It’s not because of the money it could fetch but because I like the idea of ‘logo’ and the caption that defines the services provided by the company.
I have always liked the idea of logo. Somehow it uniquely identifies you, the proprietor of that business, be it small or large. Many people today identify the products with logos that specify the brand. It’s like as soon as you see a logo you will know which brand and which company a particular product belongs to and that I should say is very interesting thing.
When you find a cricket field or football ground surrounded by those international brands you would wish you had a company too. I like the idea of companies sponsoring events for advertising.
In the hope of doing something in future I have taken one step ahead of others by designing a logo for myself too but that’s very lame thing to do because I have no idea what kind of business I’d be operating in future.
I have thought of every business but the competition always seems so stiff and the market, especially in Bhutan always non-existent almost.
I know I’d not be working for others all my life because I think I am too valuable and that I should first serve myself rather than any organization and yet I have still not come up with any plans.
At first I thought I should go for media; newspaper but there are already 6 papers and now there’s hardly any market for an additional papers. And then I thought I should open a resort but then there are more hotels in town than the tourists and guests. Then there are already so many consultancy firms not doing so well here in Bhutan. Hardware shops are equally bad because Bhutanese people prefer to buy stuffs from India and abroad were things are cheaper.
I can only think of one business which is not there in Bhutan as of now. At least none that I am aware of. As a broker between house-owners and tenants. Except for few ads in ‘classified column’ I have not heard of any man operating in that area. I am not sure if we have real-state businesses in Bhutan even.
But then I am planning on business in the very faraway future so I guess I have time to come up with something new and hopefully by then I will know what kind of business I should opt for and which kind has market in here.
Or maybe I should become a BROKER and rent you apartments?
I have always liked the idea of logo. Somehow it uniquely identifies you, the proprietor of that business, be it small or large. Many people today identify the products with logos that specify the brand. It’s like as soon as you see a logo you will know which brand and which company a particular product belongs to and that I should say is very interesting thing.
When you find a cricket field or football ground surrounded by those international brands you would wish you had a company too. I like the idea of companies sponsoring events for advertising.
In the hope of doing something in future I have taken one step ahead of others by designing a logo for myself too but that’s very lame thing to do because I have no idea what kind of business I’d be operating in future.
I have thought of every business but the competition always seems so stiff and the market, especially in Bhutan always non-existent almost.
I know I’d not be working for others all my life because I think I am too valuable and that I should first serve myself rather than any organization and yet I have still not come up with any plans.
At first I thought I should go for media; newspaper but there are already 6 papers and now there’s hardly any market for an additional papers. And then I thought I should open a resort but then there are more hotels in town than the tourists and guests. Then there are already so many consultancy firms not doing so well here in Bhutan. Hardware shops are equally bad because Bhutanese people prefer to buy stuffs from India and abroad were things are cheaper.
I can only think of one business which is not there in Bhutan as of now. At least none that I am aware of. As a broker between house-owners and tenants. Except for few ads in ‘classified column’ I have not heard of any man operating in that area. I am not sure if we have real-state businesses in Bhutan even.
But then I am planning on business in the very faraway future so I guess I have time to come up with something new and hopefully by then I will know what kind of business I should opt for and which kind has market in here.
Or maybe I should become a BROKER and rent you apartments?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
No Work, All Play
My office being a financial institution is always buzzing with people. Sometimes it is difficult to identify your colleagues from customers and clients and yet I was there, on my desk doing nothing.
Is it always like this the first time? Nobody gives me anything to do; nobody even bothers where I went. When I ask for work my seniors don’t know what to do. I wish I had something to do, anything at all if only to pass time.
When I have nothing to do I still have to be there from 9 till 4 pm in the evening because I don’t want anybody to have bad impression regarding me but still I bunked several times out of boredom.
Is it always going to be like this? I hope not. I’d rather prefer a busy schedule to being idle all day long.
This boredom is killing me…
Is it always like this the first time? Nobody gives me anything to do; nobody even bothers where I went. When I ask for work my seniors don’t know what to do. I wish I had something to do, anything at all if only to pass time.
When I have nothing to do I still have to be there from 9 till 4 pm in the evening because I don’t want anybody to have bad impression regarding me but still I bunked several times out of boredom.
Is it always going to be like this? I hope not. I’d rather prefer a busy schedule to being idle all day long.
This boredom is killing me…
Monday, January 4, 2010
Writing the Ap Sara way
Bhutan witnessed its first snow on December 31, 2009 and I was too lazy to lift my head from the pillow to see out. By the time I did it all melted so I didn’t get to see the snow.
On the New Year’s Eve, my friends and I had a get-together party. I thought it was a success but some wanted to go to party and some didn’t and that ended with everybody going home by 9 o’clock sulking and angry with each other.
On the first day in office, my boss said I made a wrong choice. He said I should have chosen government job instead of corporate.
After getting tender for a huge amount, my team mates got greedy and we started having differences and the team is on the verge of breaking up.
On the New Year’s Eve, my friends and I had a get-together party. I thought it was a success but some wanted to go to party and some didn’t and that ended with everybody going home by 9 o’clock sulking and angry with each other.
On the first day in office, my boss said I made a wrong choice. He said I should have chosen government job instead of corporate.
After getting tender for a huge amount, my team mates got greedy and we started having differences and the team is on the verge of breaking up.
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